New James Bond Betting Odds – The Bottom Of The Barrel
***LATEST NEW JAMES BOND BETTING ODDS! CLICK HERE***
It’s finally happened – we’ve literally profiled every single man, woman or beast even vaguely in the running to be the new James Bond.
With an announcement expected – but not promised – this week (latest news is that Pierce Brosnan has probably got it in the bag), our list of new James Bond contender betting odds is almost at an end. Almost. We’re left with a set of names so ridiculously unsuitable for the part that there is probably more chance that you would get the job before them. Yes, you. And look at the state of you.
Despite the flat-out bizarreness of these choices, remember that the betting market is still open for all the contenders, even the sensible ones.
But, for now, here are the betting odds for the last of the new James Bond contenders, from hecklerspray and Betfair.com…
Gary Stretch – Unfamiliar to pretty much everyone except for a handful of people who kept a list of vain boxers that were beaten by Chris Eubank, Gary Stretch was a British boxer more than 15 years ago. He hit a few headlines after retiring by becoming the boyfriend of ancient glamourpuss Raquel Welsh. He’s trying to make his name as an actor, and has starred in lots of films with the word "dead" in the title. If the Bond producers wanted this sort of James Bond, they’d have already chosen Vinnie Jones, and we’d have all gone to hell. Current odds – 49/1
Johnny Depp – There are a lot of big-name stars in the running to play James Bond and none – with the exception of Harrison Ford (you don’t stand a chance old man, get over it) – would be a worse choice than Johnny Depp. Nothing against the man, in fact we’d go as far to say that he’s the most interesting actor around at the moment, but he’d be rubbish if he was constrained by Bond. All the films where Depp has tried to tuck in his eccentricities have been dire. Plus, he’d probably want to base the character on Popeye or something like that. Actually, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Current odds – 49/1
Eddie Hobbs – As far was we can tell, Eddie Hobbs is a financial expert
from Cork. He has his own TV show in Ireland called Rip-Off Republic,
which has apparently broken all kinds of ratings records. We’re fairly
certain that his inclusion on this is some kind of weird joke, but he
would probably make a very effective Bond. Think how easily he could
stop terrorist cells by finding an obscure tax loophole that would
increase the amount they had to pay for waste disposal. Or something.
Current odds – 59/1
Charlize Theron – Secretly, we’d quite like to see a female James Bond, if only because it’d make a lot of idiots very angry. And if there was ever a female James Bond, it’d have to be Charlize Theron. She’s already proved that she can do all the funky secret agent stuff in Aeon Flux, and she’d be pretty great at the job. However: the script’s already been written for a man, and the film features a scene where Bond almost gets castrated. Remember, female genital mutilation is no joke, kids. Current odds – 89/1
So that’s it. Tomorrow we’ll start recapping the odds of people that actually stand a vague chance of winning the part. Until then, head
over to the General Special Bets section of Betfair.com to take a look at all the latest odds for all the new James Bond contenders. You get free stuff when you join up, look…
Related stories:
The hecklerspray Betfair.com Tutorial
[story by Stuart Heritage]
