Natalie Portman: Big Brother Contestant?

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More than any other of the previous five TV-gripped years, the middle months of 2005 are truly turning out to be the summer of Big Brother (DVDs).

First came the news that the BBC’s slightly dodgy Dr. Who (DVDs) revival would feature an episode in which glum Chris Eccleston (DVDs) stepped through those famous diary room doors. And now? Now rumours are spreading across the Bonza land of Australia that lovely young starlet Natalie Portman may be entering the Big Brother house.

The official site of the Australian Big Brother confirmed - before the show had even launched - the producers had entrenched themselves in "negotiations with a Hollywood star".

The somewhat dubious basis of the rumours is that a Natalie Portman (DVDs) appearance would form part of an Aussie "promotional drive" for crushingly mediocre new Star Wars (DVDs) flick Revenge Of The Sith.

Seeing as Mr. Lucas’s film has already blasted through box office records like a big blasty thing (‘Mmm,’ you can hear Yoda say. ‘Bad taste in films the public has‘) it isn’t exactly screaming out for any further publicity, now is it?

If this was all a PR stunt for a quirky little indie piece like Garden State (DVD), then maybe things would be a little more believable. Until then, hecklerspray has one eyebrow firmly raised. A bit like The Rock (DVDs). Except slightly less chiseled.

Of course, we’re all too busy concentrating hard on the shiny new British Big Brother to really care about what our Antipodean cousins are up to, right? And if you’re not, then maybe it’s about time you showed some enthusiasm, goddamit! Sign yourself up to the hecklerspray Big Brother Betting Club immediately: bigbrotherbetclub@gmail.com.

You know you want to…

[story by C J Davies]