Natalie Cole is lucky because she never has to catch a cold again.
It’s because her immune system is now naturally fortified with boat loads of Hepatitis C. This is excellent for her on several different levels. She’ll no longer have to spend hundreds of dollars on oranges every winter – that’s nice for her. She can put that saved money right into studio-time.
Also, no more nights stuck awake because her chest is sticky with Vapo-rub, and she can take all those old, crusty lozenges out of her sock drawer. Like we said, Cole is lucky on many levels – not the least of which… What’s that? Hepetitis C is some sort of ailment? It has lousy side effects and doesn’t calm any winter-time stuffed-up misery? We’ve got it all wrong?
Well don’t we just feel ridiculous.
When Tommy Lee‘s body probably first invented Hepatitis C, the world didn’t know what to think. On the one hand AIDS and mouth cancer already took up so much of our time we just didn’t think we would ever need a brand new disease again. On the other hand – Tommy made it, and everything he touches turns to bonafide gold. Except, you now, music and albums and basically anything rhythmic.
Then Pamela Anderson came down with the disease from a rusty tattoo needle, and we realised for the first time it could be considered quite fashionable to contract it.
As if that wasn’t enough, Steven Tyler got it a few years later, and we were like ‘Whoa… Where is everybody getting this wonderful disease?!”
And now Natalie Cole has found a screaming deal on the sickness somewhere. This is unconfirmed, but we heard she got it at 30% off. Again, that was unconfirmed. What’s not unconfirmed is that the disease seems far more solemn than the Lee’s make it look. According to Reuters:
“Grammy-winning singer Natalie Cole has been diagnosed with Hepatitis C and says she probably contracted the liver disease from drug use more than 30 years ago.”
While her publicist says:
“The virus, found during a routine examination, is likely the result of [Cole’s] drug use many decades ago.”
The symptoms for the Hep are fatigue, muscle aches and Arabic men walking down the sidewalk towards you, obviously making eye contact but refusing to move out of your way, and when your paths finally cross they shoulder-bump you and you’re left wondering what the world is coming to, and why young people feel the need to be so rude.
Also, dehydration is a symptom.
Joe says
You’re a moron
Robert Lewis says
The Los Angeles County tax lien currently against Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson Lee
http://webofdeception.com/tommyandpamandersonleecountytaxlien.html
Bailey says
What are wrong with you people? This disease kills people – its not funny!
Rita says
Do you have no soul? Hepatitis C is a serious disease. Ms Cole may be a little sassy, but shes dealing with everything well,it must be hard. Plus, she looks AMAZING in the pics from her new album (on her website)If I look that good at 58, boy Im tellin’ you! The woman is blessed.
Kee B. says
I just don’t understand the insensitivity of some people. There is nothing funny about a life threatening illness. May you or your family never have to deal with a terrible terrible illness like this or any other. Idiot!
Sweetie says
What garbage can did you dig yourself out of?
kimmany1999 says
Shawn sounds like a drama queen who has nothing else better to do than to dole out useless bits of ugly from his/her automatic pez dispenser. Jealousy is an awful machine that makes people act ingenuously towards others that represent something to them. The only way Shawn can be heard in all his/her ignorant splendor, is tucked safely behind a computer screen for protection. This person wouldn’t dare go up to Natalie Cole in person and say something like that to her face, for fear the proverbial butt whooping would soon follow. Yes, stay behind your computer screen and dole out useless tid bits of information from your automatic pez dispenser Shawn because thats where you belong. Tucked away in your abyss of uglydom!!!
tiredofdumbfools says
Shawn, you are a dumb fool! How dare you say something so idiotic about someone who is battling against Hepatitis C! Fools like you talk out of their butts! You’re ridiculous!
Dee C-K. says
It’s really a sad day when someone believes it’s okay to post such a horrible article. Natalie Cole is dealing with a serious illness, and yet I’m told of this garbage that has been written by Shawn. Watch out Shawn because you never know what sickness you’ll have to deal with.
Dee C-K. says
Foolish idiot!
Myrie says
I’m sorry you are so bored with your life that you have time to sling slime on someone you know nothing about. Go ask Mother Judd what it takes to survive Hep-C? Hell, ask a doctor cause you damn sure don’t know. You compare Tommy and his ex, to Natalie, or even Steven Tyler; two people who have been through the fire and were lucky enough to come out a little smokey, but not burnt, rebuild a career that others said was over.
Take your know-nothing-behind to a center and watch as people sit there, day-in-day-out, having their blood cleaned by a machine, then come back here with your smart-ass comments. Sit with one for an hour before they go in and see how tired and lifeless they are.
I don’t wish you any harm; just education. Educate yourself before for turn on your computer. They is nothing more dangerous than a un-educated fool with a forum to spread his/her opinion.
Dee C-K says
I don’t wish Shawn any harm either, but he does need to get over himself! He’s ignorant.