Naomi Campbell is so skilled that all kinds of community service jobs were open to her – professional wrestler, industrial car crusher, ninja, life model for art classes about especially violent women – but in the end Naomi Campbell was made to clean.
Yesterday Naomi Campbell began her first of five days mopping floors and cleaning toilets at a New York garbage depot – the community service was part of Naomi's sentence for wigging out and hurling her mobile phone into the back of her maid's head when she couldn't find a pair of jeans. But it looks very much like Naomi Campbell is learning a lot from her community service, though, and it'll be a long time before she attacks another subordinate with a telephone. Granted, that's mainly because Naomi Campbell has learnt that she can do way more damage by using a mop as a rudimentary bo staff than she ever could with a phone, but we guess it's a start.
Some supermodels you can mess with. Get married to Christie Brinkley and you'll be able to sleep with as many teenage toystore workers as you like, while Cindy Crawford is happy to let you inject any old shit into her face. But you don't mess with Naomi Campbell, not unless you want to be picking your teeth off the floor with the broken arm that Naomi Campbell ripped from its joint and forced down your mouth until your hand came out of your arse.
Naomi Campbell isn't a woman who's afraid to show you her emotion, especially when that emotion is "WOOARRRRRRRRRGH! I'll fucking KILL YOU!" Previous Naomi Campbell exploits have included smashing up a boat when she was offered some mozzarella and telling a Romanian maid "you're not in the third world any more, stupid." But when Naomi Campbell threw a telephone at her maid Ana Scolavino's head last year, it was one attack too many.
After she was arrested for assault, Naomi Campbell proceeded to either turn up to court or not really bother for a few exciting months until eventually Naomi Campbell pleaded guilty to assault and sat back to receive her sentence. Although Naomi Campbell could have ended up with seven years in prison for the phone attack, she was eventually told to just mop up around some buildings for a few days.
But lessons were learnt after Boy George's embarrassing spaz-out during a similar punishment last year, so steps were made to allow Naomi Campbell to carry out her community service behind closed doors. Not that it stopped everyone from trying to get a look when her community service started yesterday anyway, as Reuters reports:
Fashion model Naomi Campbell showed up in stiletto heels on Monday to start serving a five-day sentence mopping floors and cleaning toilets at a New York garbage depot after pleading guilty to assaulting a housekeeper. Wearing what appeared to be red-soled Christian Louboutin shoes but carrying a pair of black work boots, the 36-year-old model strode past a crowd of television cameras and reporters as she reported for her 8 a.m. shift… For her sentence, the model will work seven hours shifts with two daily breaks for five days at the depot, where Sanitation officials said she would be assigned various routine cleaning tasks.
Naomi Campbell's community service cleaning duties will come to an end on Friday, by which time Naomi Campbell will have paid for her past offences and can live the rest of her life as a shining beacon to the rest of humanity. Well not all of her past offences, obviously; there's still the other assault charge hanging around, plus the lawsuit from the maid who called Naomi a 'violent super bigot' – and nobody's going to forgive her for La La La Love Song in a hurry – but, you know, apart from all that she'll be fine.