So you’ve just pleaded guilty to kicking and spitting at police officers on a plane because some of your luggage went missing – what do you do now?

Well, logic and common sense dictates that it might be wise to quietly accept your punishment while simultaneously attempting to stem the white hot temper that flares up like clockwork every few months and makes you look like a prize dicksplat in front of the entire world.

Or, if you’re Naomi Campbell, you find the nearest camera crew and start blathering on furiously about how you only got angry because someone on the plane called you a ‘golliwog supermodel’ even though you didn’t actually mention anything about that during the trial. Deep down, they’re both the same.