Nadine Coyle: Never Naked

Chances are you're probably deeply concerned about the future careers of the various Girls Aloud members when the group invariably splits up - so concerned that you can't even sleep at night. Right? Right?

So hats off to Nadine Coyle from Girls Aloud for ruling out one possible post-Girls Aloud career choice, thus easing your worries by a fraction. Nadine Coyle has told Q magazine that she will never ever become a naked Playboy model because she finds human nudity so repulsive that even the merest glimpse of a nipple or scrotum gives her a nasty case of Gastro-oesophageal reflux disease. But remember, just because Nadine Coyle has decided that you're never ever going to see her naked, it's not all bad. After all, by ruling out one career choice, Nadine has marginally increased her chances of being your bus driver one day.

If Girls Aloud has a lead singer, it's probably Nadine Coyle. As the one who sings the bulk of Girls Aloud songs, Nadine hasn't had the time to indulge in the extra-curricular activities that the other band members have, like being drunk all the time, marrying a footballer and abusing Lily Allen, having brightly-coloured hair or being shamefully anonymous. No, for the most part Nadine Coyle is interested in just two things - singing in Girls Aloud and eating her dinner on occasion.

Girls Aloud aren't going to split up for a while - they've made that horribly clear - but the various members must have thought about what they'd like to do afterwards. Solo careers? TV presenting? Artist management? Posing as models in art classes for people with limited paint? We just don't know yet. We do, however, know that Nadine Coyle has firmly ruled out the chance of ever posing naked for a magazine. We're aware that this could mean that Nadine Coyle is willing to pose naked for a DVD, European art film, internet sex tape, internet pay-access porn network, book, pamphlet or billboard, but let's just hear what Nadine told Q magazine anyway, shall we?

"I would never get my kit off for Playboy magazine. It's so degrading. The naked body is not beautiful, male or female. The suggestion of naked is nice, but not nude. I'd never do it for any price."

Oh, our mistake. Nadine Coyle only doesn't want to get naked for Playboy. That means, we've decided, that Nadine Coyle is fully prepared to pose naked for Hustler, Razzle, Penthouse, Readers' Wives, Barely Legal, Mayfair, Asian Babes or Malnourished Popstars XXX. But let's just say that on this occasion we're wrong - that Nadine Coyle doesn't want to pose naked in any form for any kind of medium. That means the girl should be applauded, surely. Nadine Coyle has proved that pretty young girls don't need to rely on displaying their bare flesh to maintain a high public profile, and her eagerness not to expose every square centimetre of skin for a handful of coins is a refreshing change in today's world.

Besides, if you want to see what Nadine Coyle's tits look like, you can always just take a peek at Jesse Metcalfe's awful naked Nadine Coyle tattoo. So, really, aren't we all winners here?

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Nadine Coyle's No To Nudity - Female First