Nope, this isn’t us giving you the name of an ironically-titled band. After nearly a year of bringing you the best in what undiscovered gems the internet has to offer, we thought we’d show you how bad some music out there really is.
Don’t ever base yourselves on some bloke called The Product. Described on his MySpace page as punk punk punk, it actually is shit shit shit. It doesn’t seem like much time or effort has been put in to any of these four piss-poor tracks. All of which are available to download by the way, probably because they are so shambolic that no-one in their right mind would bother forking over any money for them. If someone gave us the money we’d rather swallow the cash instead of spending it on this tripe. Even if the coins don’t have chocolate in them, we’ll still try and eat some before choking to death on our own vomit.
There are a few minor problems with all the songs on The Product's MySpace page.
1 – Sound levels really need to be sorted out. Obviously recorded off the shit mic that comes with a new PC, some studio trickery needs to be used somewhere. Well, everywhere actually.
2 – You're not punk. Rename yourself.
3 – Sampling stuff off the TV or YouTube does not make you an artist. More like someone who can record stuff and can copy and paste it around. Even we can do that. And that says something.
4 – MAKE SURE YOUR FUCKING SONGS LOAD. Ahem, there’s nothing more frustrating than trying to listen to something that doesn’t load properly and constantly freezes halfway through.
5 – Strangely using pictures of Michael Jackson before he turned white is quite random and slightly worrying.
In a nutshell, if you ain’t grasped the message, this artist is crap. But if you want to laugh and see what we're on about, you can waste precious seconds of your life listening to sounds worse then a baby crying on a plane that has just taken off.
Read more (if you dare):
Expect normal service to resume next week, though it is fun to make fun of people making crap music who have more talent than us. Expect the hecklerspray album soon with Stu on triangle, CJ on the harmonica, Chris on bongos, Shawn trying to rap, Matt on the recorder and Annette bodypopping to our funky fresh beats. Hey, if Razorlight can get a deal then why can’t we?
Shiver says
I totally expect a pre-release copy of your album.
C J Davies says
I want to play one of those guitar-keyboard things instead
Euclid says
CJ – “key-tar”
Chris Laverty says
Stop being a diva CJ and get me a smoothie.
C J Davies says
I suppose you want me to pick out all the individual raspberry seeds, too. Just like the last 187 times.
Am I the only one who considers ‘The Product’ the funniest thing ever, by the way?
Adam says
Good God this is an irredemably shit post.
You’re poking fun at something clearly intended as a piss-take.
It’s like poking fun at the Chuckle Brothers for their poor painting/decorating skills.
Matthew Laidlow says
Speaking of the Chuckle Brothers, one was in a moterbike crash!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_6600000/newsid_6601300/6601395.stm