Another week means another trawl through the murky and often worrying music that is shoved up on MySpace, where bands and artists think that thousands of record executives are going to rush towards them based on a scrappy bit of audio or two.

We don’t want to be the bearers of bad news, but we guess we need some role in life. Listen, just because you think you have a few decent tracks and showcase them on MySpace, it doesn’t mean you’re going to get anywhere. You have 4,658 friends, you say? Bollocks, most of them are people you’ve probably spammed repeatedly or are mates of mates. Numbers of friends don’t count; we want to see some real effort and belief in what you’re doing. This is why we’ve picked Helios as our new favourite artist.