Music - HecklerSpray

Miley Cyrus Releases Crappy New Single, Probably Snorts Cocaine

By Deshnee Bagoban - June 5, 2013

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus – named Maxim’s Number 1 Hottest Woman – released her much anticipated debut single ‘We Can’t Stop’ after a three year hiatus from music. After listening to her collaboration on Snoop Lion’s track ‘Ashtrays and Heartbreaks’ it’s pretty much what I expected. Except with a little added coke and ecstasy.

Miley’s ‘Smiler’ fans who stopped twerkin’ for a few minutes to have a listen may have been disappointed at the blandness of her new sound. Considering Miley’s ass was used as the primary means of promotion for the debut with much twerkin’ and much tweetin’, some may have been expecting an energetic club banger worthy of a four minute ass shake. Even more so as the lyrics suggest that this is essentially ‘Party In The USA’ part two. However through the lazy haze of predictable beats it falls flat at a pretty solid ‘Meh’.

Paris Hilton Is Still Trying Not to Suck At Making Music

By Rhiannon Davies - May 23, 2013

Remember way back when Paris Hilton was still relevant? Well, we must have all somehow been transported back to 2006, because she’s started dropping hints about her new album.

Lil Wayne’s mentor Birdman announced on Twitter that he’s signed the heiress to his label, Cash Money Records, which is also home to Drake, Nicki Minaj, Tyga and Busta Rhymes. Have fun imagining a conversation between Paris Hilton and Nicki Minaj, for a second. There’s a pretty good chance it would end in Nicki rugby-tackling Paris to the ground and taking her hair extensions as a trophy.

The Only Bits Of Eurovision Worth Knowing About

By Rhiannon Davies - May 23, 2013

Eurovision, the sparkly Olympics of the music world, was held in Sweden last Saturday, and as usual, there was only about 10% of it actually worth watching.

And it wasn’t so much about the cheesy techno songs as it was just one big game of ‘Who Can Come Up With The Strangest Gimmick’. Some went with giant disco balls, some went with lesbian kisses and Ukraine went with a 7-ft giant dressed as a viking.

Daft Punk’s New Album Better Be Brilliant to Justify the Absurdly Sneaky Marketing

By Chris Chambers - April 17, 2013

daft-punk-random-access-memories Daft Punk … the French EDM duo known for their addictive music and stupid robot heads … finally released enough bizarre, circuitous hints to confirm, with moderate-to-high certainty, that they will in fact debut a new album very soon.

The album, titled “Random Access Memories,” has been a source of speculation for ages, with rumors swirling about collaborations with people like Nile Rodgers, Julian Casablancas, and Pharrell Williams. But instead of being clear about it … maybe issuing a statement like normal celebs … they’ve been carefully leaking unsubstantiated tidbits … cool enough to excite, yet vague enough to infuriate … so when the news was finally confirmed, it was more than a little underwhelming. The album better be fucking great.

Beyonce’s New Single Is Adventurous But Still Complete Rubbish

By Chris Chambers - March 21, 2013

beyonce

Mrs Carter! How dare you use the same mouth that lip synced for the President’s inauguration to sing those nasty words!

Beyonce’s bizarre new single “Bow Down / I Been On,” released earlier this week on her web site, has caused a veritable public outcry, with some fans applauding Queen B’s more aggressive sound, and others criticizing her for straying from imminent R&B sainthood.

Is Justin Bieber Becoming a Sloppy Mess?

By Chris Starr - March 6, 2013

Justin Bieber shirtless

The curse of the young child celebrity appears to have struck again, knocking down loveable/hateable (delete as appropriate) Canadian pop star Justin Bieber. And boy, are some of his fans pissed.

You see, Bieber manages to lure in an audience that is best described as pre-teen. A lot of his listeners are 8 or 9-year olds who can’t really tell that his music is largely dross, and they simply like him because he appears to be an inoffensive muppet.

David Bowie’s New Video is a Slick Twist on a Boring Song

By Chris Chambers - February 28, 2013

David-Bowie The newly released video for the second song from David Bowie’s upcoming album addresses themes that might startle you coming from him … androgyny and fame. I, for one, am extremely shocked, not only because of David’s overt machismo and easy anonymity, but also the fact that he has never dared touched on them before. Except in virtually every one of his songs.

Titled “The Stars (Are Out Tonight),” the video offers extremely cool visuals for a fairly lackluster song.

5 Action Stars Who Made Confusing Attempts At Music

By Daniel Dockery - February 22, 2013

Steven Seagal shooting a laser out of his guitar.

If what you do mostly involves winning death match tournaments to save the life of your reporter love interest or portraying a good cop who gets the job done, but plays by his own rules, there is probably a lot of repetition. It’s one of the perks of being an action star sometimes.

You get so good at one thing that you don’t really need to do anything else. However, this repetition can often be disconcerting. At a certain point in every action star’s life, usually around the four thousandth roundhouse kick or the two millionth burst of machine gun fire, they ask themselves “IS THIS ALL I’M WORTH?”

Pitbull Vs Flo Rida: Who Sucks Less?

By Daniel Dockery - February 16, 2013

Pitbull and Flo Rida

It’s tough to find good, independent music these days. We live in an era where everything is processed and filtered and we give Grammy’s to the faces that promote the songs instead of the robots that worked hard on them.

That’s why we’re lucky to have rappers like Pitbull and Flo Rida, two men who bring honesty and truth to their music, who aren’t just in it for the pay check, but in it for the love. However, there can only be one king among men.

Who’s a better rapper, Mr. Worldwide or The Only One Rida? Let’s compare their strengths and weaknesses and find out.

The 5 Most Un-Listenable 2013 Grammy Nominees

By Daniel Dockery - February 10, 2013

Grammy trophies.

It’s that time of the year again, where they put all of the most talented people in the world together in a room and give awards to a few of them. Oh, I’m sorry. I lied. That first sentence describes nothing that exists yet.

It is time for the Grammy’s, where hipsters get mad and people watch because suicide takes slightly more work. The Grammy’s, where the chance of finding new music is the same as the chance of Bigfoot photographing you. These are five of the most un-listenable songs that received Grammy nominations.