Comparing Muse to Radiohead like we did last time wasn?t received well. We?d would have had a more friendly response from a vegan if we tied them to a chair and did a sexy lap dance for them as we stripped out of an outfit made entirely out of bacon and mince. Clearly, people weren't amused by our article and wanted our heads on pikes.
Not ones to prod the embers, it was decided to leave Muse alone. After all, they do bugger all apart from release the occasional song that causes fan boys to stand to attention quicker than the Queen’s guards.
However, fans in Australia won't be jerking-off over their music anytime soon if officials have their way; the band will be banned from throwing shrimps on the barbie and drinking cans of Fosters in Oz, all because of silly bass player Christopher Wolstenholme.
Christopher who? Yup we asked ourselves the same question, only because we thought that Muse comprised of nobody else but Matt Bellamy – a musician so superhuman that he can play the piano, guitar and triangle at the same time. You know how magicians have the magic circle? Bellamy solely created ?The Musicians Plectrum?, an organisation where he is currently the only member. The headquarters are located in a hill deep inside the Lake District, crafted by minions who failed to get in to ?The Musicians Plectrum.?
Gone are the days where you got to choke on the body odour and cigarette smoke of other punters at gigs. Now, the fresh recycled smell of sweat is pumped around venues as this is the least likely out of the two to give you cancer. But big important rock stars don't have rules; seemingly, the no smoking sign didn't seem to bother Christopher Wolstenholme.
During a gig at the Ron Laver arena in Melbourne, he lit up several cigarettes according to reports. MTV.co.uk say:
?He apparently initially tried to hide his actions by only puffing when dry ice fog rolled over the stage, but by the end was smoking freely between songs.?
In terms of doing stupid at a gig, it doesn't appear to be that radical. There aren't any reports of the stage accidentally catching fire or the band members destroying their equipment at the end of the gig. Perhaps it's a case of the event promoters overreacting a little bit? Jo Juler, a spokesperson for the venue said:
?Officials spoke to the band before and after the show and we were extremely disappointed when they decided to flaunt our strict no-smoking policy. They are known as an anti-establishment style of performance group, but it was still sad that they decided to go ahead regardless.?
Anti establishment?
We genuinely can't think of anything they've done to bring society to its knees. You?d have seen more anarchy following the recent student/tax dodging protests. Or at a Bieber show. Got to start somewhere we guess. Next we expect other band members to piss in to cups and chuck them at gig goers who need a pick me up drink during yet another one of their overly long, fret-wanking performancez.
Please don't ban them Australia, it'll only mean the rest of us will have to put up with more live dates!
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!
I Hate You- HecklerSpray says
I Hate You,
’nuff said.
T-Cake says
Wow, those Muse boys are really ripping Australia a new one, smoking their cigarettes and flaunting all that nicotine. Unbelievable. It’s not like they turned flamethrowers on the audience or started juggling running chainsaws. Rock concerts 10-15 years ago were filled with pot smoke and fans beating the hell out of each other. I don’t think a couple Marlboros are really the end of the world.
Laura says
They aren’t even going to be banned in Australia..
vince says
You are pathetic! The excess of irony is really hard to bear. Really boring you are. If only you knew the band, you’d understand Muse have nothing in common with Radiohead since Origin of Symmetry. But you’re a professionnal so you are the truth!…
LoverOfMuse says
lol when I read about this I was like “Sucks for the Australians” haha
But, ask a Muse fan who Christopher Wolstenholme is and you won’t hear “Chris Who?” More likely: “BOOM, pregnant!”
Stroppy says
Nobody in Australia throws shrimps on the barbie. They are called ‘prawns’. And nobody, I mean nobody, in Australia drinks Fosters. We export that shit.
Same thing. Every. Single. Time. Fosters and shrimps, Fosters and shrimps. If you are going for the cheap stereotypes, at least GET IT RIGHT, WORLD!
Stuart says
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and it’s your site so where better to state it, but that doesn’t change the fact thay you’re a ponce.
God, this pathetic “blog” is absolute shite. : )
Matt says
You are such a toss! I was there and it was more than just bloody smoking.
ffaufa says
Fine dont listel t oMuse then go listen to fcuker bieber or transexual lady gaga or even better the idiots of the black eyd peas that dont have nothing better to do than copying segments of other popular songs and making them their fuck you gay ass website
Anonymous says
I find this article funny because the author had to try REALLY hard to make fun of Muse. He must hate music.
Undisclosed Desires says
Wow is this website for real? they make fun of Muse and expect to get nice comments?
And did they just compare them to Justin Beiber?
Muse are one of the last GOOD rock bands around, and they just compared them to Justin Beiber?
What is the world coming to? The music industry is dying to fake pop crap!
MuseLover says
F**k right off!! Muse are amazing so you can go crawl under a rock and die… Furthermore, your grammar is shit (see the beginning of the second sentace of your article).
Cookie Monster says
Crikey, you’re all Mad Max. You should grab your favourite outback croc or roo and stick yer thumb up it’s bunghole, go for a walkabout, or whatever it is that you convicts do to calm-down.
joemomma says
All these fanboys make me think of “This is Spinal Tap” when the report asks. “Why do you think that all your fans are prepubecent boys?”
Emma says
Mathew, You are an utter fag! (Pardon my language everyone else :D )
I am from Australia, and we arnt going to ban them, I actually went to their concert and it was amazing, and by the way, the reports from mtv.com.UK!, how do you even know they were there? Their from the UK for gods sake!
Genericname5632 says
“Wow is this website for real? they make fun of Muse and expect to get nice comments?”
They expect to get web-hits and comments. Which they get plentifully.
t says
Reminds me of a blog that takes the piss out of pop singer Rihanna on an almost regular basis, and their fans never fail to fall for the bait and crash the site with angry responses.
Peatre Bojangles says
PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! <3
Tom says
I love the articles you guys post around here. I love how people get so mad about these things; keep up the good work.
Elisa says
This is absolutely fake, you are such a shame.
R10FCB says
HAHA! I’m Australian, and that was funny!
Henri says
You fucking tard. When have you ever seen him play a triangle