Since the world-wide puppy shortage, however, that has become impossible. She's tried filling that void with other animals, we heard, but the goldfish died in her mascara case and her squirrel kept trying to store nuts deep inside her. Picture yourself at a million-dollar luncheon, and acorns keep dropping out of your pant-suit. Untolerable.
Paris Hilton has given up her solo friend-search now, and is letting MTV find the yin to her yang, the Japan to her Germany, and the mindless cult to her Charles Manson. Via reality TV.
And if you don't feel enticed enough to apply yet, keep in mind we're pretty sure one of her eyes is a Johnny Depp piece of eight. Certainly that is worth your consideration.
Paris Hilton may have money, but when it comes to friends she is definitely running short. Her brother's possibly wrapped around a tree right now, Richie's too busy extracting milk, Hilton's new boyfriend is embarrassingly named after a very compassionate dog from the seventies and the guy that kept yelling 'fire crotch' was just too sweaty to keep entertaining.
So her search for new friends, as it's just been announced, is going to be a reality TV show. MTV will host it, and throngs of girls will vie to be the one holding the video camera when Hilton finally gets around to making a sequel to her first 'film.' Hilton says of her new show:
"I’m really excited about this concept — I'm going to meet a lot of great girlfriends. I never got to go to college and this will be my chance to be in a sorority and have that experience."
It's not much of a contest really, as we already know the winner will be the girl with the tattoo of Lindsay Lohan squished in a tank tread.
That girl always wins.