MTV Movie Awards - Results

If awards ceremonies are like bowel disorders, then most of them would be constipation. They consist of hours of straining and trying hard, but usually the only results you get are a red face and a tiny statue.

The MTV Movie Awards, on the other hand, is more like diarrhoea. It’s loud, messy and leaves you sweating. This year’s event was no exception. Highlights are said to include Dustin Hoffman rubbing his balls several times during a speech, a reunion of the original cast of The Breakfast Club, and host Jimmy Fallon killing a boy onstage.

The ceremony won’t be on TV for a while, so here’s a sneak preview of the results…

The genius of Napoleon Dynamite (DVDs) was rewarded with three statues; Best Film, Male Breakthrough Performance for John Heder and Best Musical Performance, for only time a Jamiroquai song hasn’t inspired anger and violent hatred in a movie audience ever.

Mean Girls (DVDs) also took three awards; Best Female Performance for Lindsay Lohan, Female Breakthrough Performance for Rachel McAdams and Best Onscreen Team. McAdams also won the Best Kiss Award, for her rainy snog in dreary old The Notebook (DVDs).

Other results included Leonardo DiCaprio (DVDs) grabbing Best Male Performance for his role in The Aviator, Dustin Hoffman (DVDs) winning Best Comedic Performance for Meet The Fockers, and Ben Stiller (DVDs) winning the Best Villain award for Dodgeball.

Weird-faced ghoul-girl Dakota Fanning (DVDs) won Best Frightened Performance for the otherwise rubbish Hide And Seek, and The Chronicles Of Riddick (DVDs) won the only award it will probably ever win, taking home the Best Videogame trophy.

The ceremony will be broadcast in America on Thursday, and in the UK on Saturday.

[story by Stuart Heritage]