Hah! You though awards season was over, didn't you? You thought that you wouldn't have to sit through an overlong ceremony full of pointless self-congratulating idiocy until next year, didn't you?
Well you're out of luck – the nominations for yet another movie awards ceremony have just been announced. This time, though, there's a difference. These are the MTV Movie Awards nominations, so if you thought that Dakota Fanning or Jessica Simpson were gypped at the Oscars, you're in for a great big treat.
The MTV Movie Awards aren't like the Oscars. At the Oscars, films like Brokeback Mountain and Crash get the big nods – films that are roughly as much fun as watching an Oh! Doctor Beeching DVD all the way through. But the MTV Movie Awards are all about fun, and any ceremony that makes Jessica Alba kiss a monkey is fine in our books.
Instead of the inevitable handwringing that goes on when the Oscars voting panel try and decide if a film about homosexuality is better than a film about racism, the MTV Movie Awards voters will have to try and decide if a bawdy comedy about men trying to get laid at weddings is better than a bawdy comedy about a man trying to get laid not at a wedding. The two biggest MTV movie awards hitters this year are The Wedding Crashers and The 40-Year-Old Virgin, with five nominations each.
This year, perhaps taking its cue from Brokeback Mountain, the MTV Movie Awards have become a little less gender-specific. The Best Actor and Best Actress categories have been merged into the Best Performance award, while a Sexiest Performance category has replaced the old Most Desirable Male/Female awards.
Some of the stand-out nominees for the 2006 MTV Movie Awards – to be held on June 3 – include King Kong, Sin City and Batman Begins fighting it out with The Wedding Crashers and The 40-Year-Old Virgin for Best Movie, while Batman, Harry Potter, Obi Wan Kenobe, Kate Beckinsdale and Jessica Alba are up for the Best Hero award.
Needless to say, the two MTV Movie Awards categories that most people care about are the Sexiest Performance and Most Frightened Performance. Sadly, MTV seems to have confused the 'sexiest' with 'fuckawful' this year, as Jessica Simpson, Jessica Alba, Beyonce, Ziyi Zhang and Rob Schneider have all been nominated, despite being collectively as sexy as a tattoo of a John McCririck toby jug on a pensioner's wrinkled bottom.
Most Frightened Performance, though, makes up for this drop in quality, by featuring textbook scared performances from Dakota Fanning, Rachel Nichols, Derek Richardson and Paris Hilton – for House Of Wax, and sadly not for her internet sex clip.
Read more:
Carell, Vaughn Crash MTV Awards – E! Online
