We all need a shoulder to cry on. Whether you've failed an exam or ruined a relationship or spilled wee-wee down the front of your nice new pants again, nothing says "there, there" better than a comforting embrace and a few words of reassurance.

Many people, however, don't seem to share this outlook. People like the talent-spotting busybodies at America's TV Land network. 

They don't think that agony aunts should take the form of wobbly Claire Raynor or that simpering mullet-haired doctor who used to pop up on TVam. They think that the whole emotional-counselling genre needs a hefty kick in the eggsack. And pronto.

That's why they've employed Mr. T.

TV Land have announced plans for a show entitled I Pity The Fool, in which the jewellry-bedecked A-Team star will travel the length and breadth of the United States (possibly in a modification-ready black van) and dish out 'inspiration and advice' to those who need it the most.

Mr T explained his motives thus:

"The 't' stands for talking. I'm going to talk it up. It's what I've been doing
all my life. My show ain't no 'Dr. Phil,' with people sitting around crying. You're a fool – that's what's wrong with you. You're a fool if
you don't take my advice."

Quite what advice Mr T will be forcing onto people has yet to be revealed. All that's known at this early stage is that he'll specialise in dealing with poor souls who have "personal or professional problems."

Hecklerspray sincerely hopes that we never get caught in a one-to-one counselling session with Mr T. Mainly because he might take us back to our childhood and find out that we once threw all our A-Team figures away and used our toy van to ferry around the Ghostbusters instead.

That'd be damn awkward.

Read More:

Mr T: Take My Advice Or Else – CNN

[story by C J Davies]