10 Actors Who Should Play James Bond

dannycraig

Over the years, a lot of hunky dudes have played James Bond. Sometimes it’s campy, sometimes it’s dark, but Bond is always fun and always a badass. The super hunky, Daniel Craig, has been doing a great job playing Bond for the past few years, but I kind of feel like he’s done all that he can with the franchise.

So, if they’re going to keep going with Bond (which of course they will as it’s the franchise that will never die), here are 10 actors who I think could really add some pizazz to the character. Yes, I said “pizazz”, but, to be fair, I recently watched an episode of “Jem and the Holograms” soooo….

The 50 Shades of Grey Movie Actually Looks Kind of Hot

sohot

So, a couple of years ago, I did that stupid thing that all females at the time were doing: I read “Fifty Shades of Grey”. I thought the writing was atrocious and the characters were really fucking stupid (No one says “Later Babes” or “Holy Cow”), but it was essentially porn for chicks, so I kind of dug it.

However, when I found out it was going to be turned into a movie, I automatically assumed it was going to be total garbage. You can’t try and make a porn into a real, regular theatre going movie. Plus, the story itself is just awful. However, now that the trailer is out, dare I say that the movie looks kind of…good?

The 5 Best Moments from the 2014 Oscars

bestofthebest

So, the Oscars happened Sunday night and, I’ve got to say, it was a pretty great show. Ellen DeGeneres was an absolutely delightful host, there were some solid musical numbers, a bunch of beautiful people won acting Oscars and gave lovely speeches, Brad and Angelina were there, Gravity didn’t win Best Picture, so all in all it was a great night for me.

However, all these “nice” moments weren’t what made the show so great for me. Sure, I like a moving speech and Matthew McConaughey’s “Alright alright alright” as much as anyone, but it was these five moments, in no particular order, that made say “Yep, this Oscar show is special.”

Katherine Heigl is Begging People for Money So She Can Be in Movies

iwantzmonayzKatherine Heigl has annoyed the shit out of me for years, so I was pretty fucking happy when she basically fell off the face of the planet due to the fact no one in the movie industry wanted to work with her ass anymore.

But, Katherine being Katherine, attempted to say “fuck you” to the film industry by making her own movies without their help. Movies she’s now claiming she’s too poor to fund.

A few years back, Katherine Heigl did that thing that a lot of stupid bitches do: she quit her popular television show so she could be a movie star. However, like Mischa Barton before her, that didn’t really work out so well, so now she’s broke and can’t afford to make her own movies and wants people to help a sister out. File this under: bitch please.

The 20 Best Coming of Age Movies of All Time

standbymeThe Oscars are just around the corner, so needless to say, I’ve got movies on the brain. In case you haven’t guessed it, I’m a bit of a movie fanatic. When I was growing up, the video store by my house used to send my family gift packages for Christmas because we basically kept them in business. When I was 14 they asked my mom if they could give me a job since they might as well pay me if I’m going to be there all the damn time. But enough about that.

So since I’ve been thinking about movies so much lately, I got to thinking about my favorite movie genres, and one stood out as the obvious winner: coming of age movies. I think I’ll mentally forever be a 12-year-old boy, so coming of age movies get me every time. There are some super famous ones that everyone loves, and then there are some more obscure that everyone should love, and I’ve decided to compile a list (in no particular order) of the 20 that I think are the best, and if you don’t agree, well, shut up! Get your own blog!

BAFTA? More Like Boring Ass Fashion Time, Amirite?

snoozecityI love awards season, because aside from the fact I obviously love movies and tv and music and celebrities, I like to see fancy bitches be fancy in clothes I could never possibly afford. I expected a lot from the BAFTAs this weekend because British hoes are supposed to be super fashionable, but I was sadly left with a major case of the “Mehs”.

The fact that it isn’t 1999 and Angelina Jolie was the biggest risk taker on the red carpet says A  LOT, because that bitch hasn’t pulled a genuine fashion risk in years, and her fashion choice this year wasn’t even that risky, but I guess that’s kind of my point.

Meryl Streep is up for her Millionth Oscar! A Rundown of the Nominees

thequeen

What Beyoncé is to music, Meryl Streep is to film: the motherfucking Queen. So bow down, bitches, because Meryl just got nominated for the EIGHTEENTH time! Home girl has not only broken the nominations record, she’s shattered it, taken the broken pieces, melted them down, and had them made into an honorary Oscar for being the top bitch in Hollywood.

Do I think Meryl will pick up her fourth Oscar? No, probably not. Not that she doesn’t deserve it, because let’s face it, Meryl Streep could do a guest spot on Criminal Minds and it’d probably be Oscar worthy, but if they gave Meryl the Oscar every time she deserved it all other actresses would basically give up. That’s why they space out her Oscars, you know?

10 People Who Might Be Awesome in 2014

breakout

In my humble opinion (who am I? Angela Chase?), 2013 was a great year for film and it saw some amazing people become household names (Jennifer Lawrence, anybody?). So I got to thinking, who might be a household name this time next year? Who are we going to become so obsessed with that we might actually start writing about them on here so I can stop writing about Miley and the damn Kardashians?

So, I compiled a list of 10 people I think are going to have really big, break out years in 2014. Some of these people you know, hell they’ve been around for years, but they’re not exactly household names or big stars, they’re more so “oh come on, you know, that guy that’s in that show and was in that movie?” or “you know, that girl who was pregnant on that ABC Spark show? What’s her name?” And some of these people you may not know at all, but let’s have a look at them, shall we?

Shia LeBeouf is Ready for his Dick Debut

Video thumbnail for youtube video Shia LaBeouf is Sticking to 'Method' Acting From Now On

Before you get too confused, Shia had his metaphorical “dick” debut years ago when he decided to show the world just how much of a cunt he’s become, but I’m not here to talk about his shitty personality today. Nope, I’m here to tell you that if you’ve always wanted to see Louis Stevens’ penis, then all your dreams will soon come true (you sad, sad human being).

For what seems like twenty fucking years now, Lars Von Trier has been hyping his new fancy porno flick, Nymphomaniac , which is the third film in his “depression series.” The first being the extremely fucked up (and also sexually graphic) movie Antichrist.

Then he released Melancholia, which I can’t say a single bad thing about because that movie was fucking breathtaking and beautiful and wonderful. Now, he’s giving us Nymphomaniac, and so far all I know about this movie is that we’re going to see Shia LaBeouf’s dick and listen to him talk in a shitty British accent.

The 10 Biggest Celeb Wins and Fails of 2013

Miley Cyrus Wins?

Well, 2013 is finally coming to a close, and what a year in popular culture it’s been! Since the beginning of the year, a bunch of shit has happened in the entertainment industry; some of it was awesome (basically every second I spend drunkenly watching American Horror Story: Coven and listening to Beyoncé), and some of it was awful (Amanda Bynes’ breakdown and basically everything Justin Bieber said and did).

It was a winning year for some Kardashian’s (Kim has a baby and gets engaged) and a losing year for others (Khloe gets cheated on divorced), but surprisingly enough, I’m not here to talk about the Kardashians (I can hear your gasps from here). No, I’m here to talk about other celebs who had winning and losing years. From the super famous, to the barely celebrities, I present: The 5 Biggest Celebrity Wins and 5 Biggest Celebrity Fails of 2013. Enjoy…or don’t…whatever.