Puerto Rico Girl In Chain Dress Wins Miss Universe 2006
Beauty contests like Miss Universe usually draw one of two responses. 1) In a fair and equal society, surely a contest based on a woman's genetic luck is an anachronism, and 2) Wooar, look at them brilliant tits!
Miss Universe 2006 took place at the weekend, and it continued Planet Earth's extraordinary 54-year winning streak against every single other planet in the universe for having fit birds and that. The winner of the 2006 Miss Universe contest was Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza, an 18-year-old girl from Puerto Rico, who sort of smiled and then fainted when she was told that she was the prettiest girl in all of the universe.
Now, we're not saying that it's been a quiet weekend, but a pretty girl winning a competition for pretty girls doesn't exactly strike us as staggering news. But still, remember the name Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza – she's only bloody Miss Universe 200, isn't she? And one day she wants to be a big film star, just like other beauty queens turned actresses like Halle Berry and, um, the others. And, as she was awarded the Miss Universe title, something staggering happened to Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza, as ABC reports:
Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza shared a nervous emotional hug with first runner-up, Kurara Chibana of Japan, moments before the winner was announced, then clasped her hands to her mouth in amazement as her name was called. She beamed as the crown was placed on her head.
So she hugged another girl, looked surprised and then smiled? How does that in any way deviate from the results of any other beauty contest ever? Now, it'd have been news if Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza punched the Japanese girl out and then shat herself, but smiling? Anyway, Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza is the first Miss Universe winner to hail from Puerto Rico for five years. We're not sure if that's a particularly long or short time to have a gap between Miss Universe winners, by the way, but it's a handy fact you can bring up during an awkward silence with a new colleague. Or something. Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza always knew that she'd eventually be crowned Miss Universe, as her Miss Universe biography stated:
"Physically, I have been told by modelling agencies and friends that I represent the consummate Latino look. Everything in my face expresses our heritage, our music and the wonderful mixes of races that we are."
Highlights of the Miss Universe 2006 contest included the Filipino entry being voted most photogenic online, the Ghanaian entry winning the congeniality award and the Japanese entry winging a huge samurai sword around until someone told her that her costume was quite nice. Oh, and Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza fainting after being crowned Miss Universe 2006. Because she was wearing a dress made of metal chains.
As the newly-crowned Miss Universe, Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza will now enjoy a year of flying around the world helping out with charities. Presumably this involves going to war-torn, famine-stricken refugee camps and telling them that they could look as good as her if only they'd use some decent conditioner once in a while.
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Miss Puerto Rica Crowned Miss Universe – ABC
[story by Stuart Heritage]
I’m going to reprint one of my very favorite jokes here:
A baby duck and a baby skunk are talking and the baby duck starts crying and says: “I’m so scared, I mean my mom’s dead, my dad’s dead, I don’t know what I am or what to do.” And the baby skunk says, “Hey, cheer up, look at you…you have feathers and a bill and you swim and go quack…You’re a duck!”
The baby duck stops crying and brightens up immediately “Yeah, I’m a duck! This is great!” Then the baby skunk starts crying and says “Now I’m so scared, I mean my mom’s dead, my dad’s dead, I don’t know what I am or what to do.”
The baby duck says, “Hey, cheer up, look at you…You’re black, you’re white, you smell like shit…You’re Puerto Rican!”
You better watch your ass because is full of shit! go and wash it!
i’m not going to play up the ignorant puerto rican claiming that P.R. is country, to be perfectly honest with everyone I can admit that puerto rico is not a country. Puerto rico is a commonwealth of the United States of America bought in 1898 from Spain. Now to all the haters out there, here’s a little history lesson from a PROUD PUERTO RICAN who has done her research. We maybe a territory but the United States didn’t claim independence from England until 1776. And even then it was made up of 13 states, while it was surrounded not only by the native americans who have founded and lived in the land thousands of years before they did, but they were also neighbors to the French and the Spaniards. I’ll give the U.S. this much, they did a hell of a job building up the country in every way in small amount of time compared to many, older countries who have been established for well over three thousand years. Unfortunetaly, the U.S. is currently obtaining the title of being the country with the highest debt in the world. Now if you haven’t realized Puerto Rico is a supplier of many imports and exports, most of it being food. If not for Puerto rico the U.S. would starve and loose a vital source booze. Puerto Rico is made up of an array of people from different countries. I am Lebonese, Japanese, French, Italian, and Taino(the native people of the island of boricua), but most of all I AM A PROUD PUERTO RICAN.
If at any time the citizens of Puerto Rico ever feel the need to become an independent country of their own, I am in full support of that. But realistically, that means that we would have to come up with enough money to buy our island from the U.S. and Puerto Rico is way to valuable to the U.S. governement to sell it cheaply. We hold the largest and most powerful satellite in the world and the U.S. is not going to give that up so easily.
And I can proudly say that not only do have one beautiful Island that is a major tourist attraction and money maker for the U.S., but Puerto Rico is the birthplace of countless people who are beautiful, inside and out, as well as having high intelligence levels that can never be met those haters who like to talk shit and make mindless, uneducated chatter.
Puerto Rico is neither.
Its really more of a doormat than a port, and only rich if compared to Cuba. Virtually every country that happened upon its shores defeated and dominated the indigeneous people there. The only thing the poor saps have won in their waterlogged history is Miss Universe. As soon as Zuleyka Mendoza is able she’ll abandon that god forsaken archipelago and go to a real country.