Mischa Barton: No Contest To Being A Pot-Addled Halfwit

Good news! Mischa Barton - the thunderingly pointless star of The OC and little else - won't be going to jail for that time she drove around blasted on pot and booze.

According to reports, Mischa Barton decided to enter a no contest plea to her DUI charges, which means her only punishment will be three years' probation, three months of alcohol education classes and a small fine.

On reflection, this is probably the best result Mischa Barton could have hoped for. By avoiding jail, Mischa has freed up a large block of time she's already sworn to spend furthering the advancement of shoddy direct-to-DVD bargain bin movies that no normal person would ever dream of watching. And the world thanks her for that.

Looking at the IMDb list of upcoming Mischa Barton films, you have to worry for the girl's state of mind. There's a movie co-starring Ja Rule, a movie entitled Malice In Sunderland and - God help us all - a movie about forgotten Russian lesbian pop duo tATu. Never has one actress contributed more to the future 2am weekday schedules of Five US. Really, what must Mischa Barton have been on to agree to make all this crap?

Well, pot. Pot and booze. Mischa Barton was probably on pot and booze because Mischa Barton loves pot and booze more than words can say. She loves them so much that sometimes she'll even drive around in her car blasted on pot and booze just to get her pro-pot and booze message out to as many people as possible.

Which neatly explains why Mischa Barton was arrested for driving drunk with marijuana in her possession just after Christmas. Mischa was charged with these offences in February - and was looking at winding up in jail if she was found guilty for them, too.

Not that jail would have been particularly traumatic for Mischa - she's so skinny that only the most accurate berserk shivver on her wing could have stabbed her with any degree of success. But that's all by the by anyway, because Mischa Barton has avoided jail with our old friend, the no contest plea bargain. Reuters reports:

"Actress Mischa Barton… has agreed to serve three years' probation for drunken driving, allowing her to avoid jail and escape a charge for marijuana possession…. Barton will plead no contest, which is similar to a guilty plea, pay a small fine and attend three months of an alcohol education class. One charge of marijuana possession will be dropped and another charge of driving without a license will be reduced to a traffic violation, according to People.com."

On the surface of things, this plea bargain looks like a lucky escape for Mischa Barton, and it is - but only in the short-term. Long-term things are pretty bleak. Next time Mischa Barton goes out in LA with her friends Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie, and they're all discussing all the nonces that they shanked during their time in the big house and comparing prison tattoos, what's non-con Mischa Barton going to do?

Sit there and feel pretty bloody stupid, that's what.

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Mischa Barton seeks plea for drunk driving: report - Reuters