Mini-Douche Jaden Smith Wants to be BFF with King Douche Shia LaBeouf

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justughNot to pick on little kids (which I’m not above doing), but I think that Jaden Smith might be my least favorite “celebrity” in Hollywood at the moment. The 15-year-old son of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett is always spouting bullshit like he thinks he’s some kind of philosopher and always causing me to give eye rolls so hard that I get headaches for days.

Jaden must’ve realized how much of a raging mini-douche bag he is, because he recently reached out to current kind of the douche bags, Shia LaBeouf, offering him friendship, from one “artist” to another. Can someone please tell this kid that the finger paintings he does at Kylie Jenner’s house do not count as real art, even if his dad does put them on the fridge.

(Warning: this blog may turn into a list of all the reasons why I think Jaden Smith is the WORST)

Not to be a raging bitch, but  actually think that Jaden Smith is the absolute worst, and he just keeps giving me reasons to believe that I’m right. Recently, he reached out to king of the fucking idiots, Shia LaBeouf, via Twitter, with this gem of a Tweet:

I’m Here If You Need A Fellow Insane Person To Talk To. But I’m Seriously Here Not Like One Of Those I’m Here For You’s That Everybody Says.

It Was A Message That Only Could Be Understood Artist To Artist. @thecampaignbook I’m Here For You I Believe In What Your Doing.

To quote one of my favorite movies, Heathers:

thebestYes, I know, almost every 15-year-old thinks they’re all deep and insane and shit, but luckily most of them don’t have a fuck ton of Twitter followers to see them spew their nonsense. Don’t get me wrong, I wrote some “I’m so deep and have so many feelings” poems and journal entries between the ages of 12-16, but I didn’t show anyone that shit! And I definitely didn’t put it on the internet (or maybe I did. I can’t remember what I did last week, let alone what I did in junior high and high school).

Who knows, maybe Jaden and Shia would actually make really great best friends. I mean, Jaden is a current child star and Shia is a former child star and they both think they’re super fucking deep. Remember when Jaden went on that super “deep” Twitter rant a few months back?

School Is The Tool To Brainwash The Youth.

If Newborn Babies Could Speak They Would Be The Most Intelligent Beings On Planet Earth.

If Everybody In The World Dropped Out Of School We Would Have A Much More Intelligent Society.

If everybody in the world dropped out of school, McDonald’s would never need to post a “We’re Hiring!” sign again. Someone delete this kid’s damn Twitter account already!

I just really can’t stand this kid anymore. I actually think if Jaden and Shia became friends that Shia would be the less annoying and douchey of the two. I can’t even look at this fucking kid.

wowgoodpointUgh. Jaden Smith. You are not deep. You hang out with wannabe deep Disney stars like Moises Arias and his brother Teo who try to prove their deepness by posting filtered black and white Instagram pictures like this:


If you don’t understand why, as a 27-year-old woman, I am so upset by this shit, I want you to look at the following picture and remember that this is what we are accepting as today’s youth:

HOWI’m just gonna go ahead and let you take that in #nightmaresforever

Just to close it all up, I give Jaden Smith and all of his friendships, including his potential one with Shia LeBeouf, 1,234,245,891 eye roll gifs out of 10.


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  1. Jade Bridger says

    1 he is NOT a dauche he is a lovely nice kind person you might ask how I know . Well I have met him ! He don’t want to be best friend with this dude he jus wants this dude to have a good life so fuck y’all hater grow up and get a life

  2. Lynn says

    What is wrong with Justin and Jadan’s eyebrows when they take picture’s. The thing’s he tweets don’t really bother me, so much as him and his sister acting all valley girl. These guy’s don’t have dad’s talant …their mother barely does. Will has probably never grounded them. It shows

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