Miley Cyrus Wants To Make Sex And The City… For Kids
Then buzz it up
July 16th, 2008 at 14:00 by Stuart Heritage
Phew, for a second there we thought that it was only Miley Cyrus’ body that got her in trouble - turns out it’s her mouth, too.
You see, Miley Cyrus doesn’t want to be the wholesome tween star of Hannah Montana forever, which is why she’s decided to tell the world about her brilliant new pitch for a TV show. It’s basically Miley Cyrus, right, starring in Sex And The City.
Seriously, that’s what she said. Miley Cyrus wants to make a toned-down, slightly more wholesome version of Sex And The City for children. This is deeply upsetting news indeed - we already had an idea for a show called The Miley Cyrus Over The Sweater Action And Nothing More Until I’m Married Because I Love God Hour, and Miley Cyrus goes and steals it, the 15-year-old bitch.
You might not have noticed, but Miley Cyrus is hell-bent on growing up. Although she’s still only 15 years old - an age where most people are happy to hula hoop in meadows or carry loaves of bread for pensioners - Miley Cyrus just won’t stop trying to assert her adulthood onto everyone.
You can see it in the typically grown-up things that Miley Cyrus has apparently started to do - like smoking, lapdancing, taking part in partially-naked glossy magazine photoshoots, getting in the shower with her clothes on and, possibly most adult of them all, occasionally not wearing seatbelts.
But that’s nothing, because now Miley Cyrus has said that she wants to remake Sex And The City - the graphically sexual show about a bunch of sluts having it off that probably isn’t especially suitable viewing material for 15-year-old girls. Miley told TV Guide:
“I’d love to do a younger, cleaner version of Sex and the City. I like to think of myself as the girl that no one can get, that no one can keep in their hand.”
Way to get loads of 11-year-old girls to watch Sex And The City, Miley. Way to warp their sexual ideals before they’ve even reached puberty. Jeez, why didn’t you just take a full-page advert out in Tween Scene magazine saying “Hi kids, I’m Miley Cyrus and I want you all to go out and buy dildos”? Because that’s basically what you’re doing anyway.
Oh, we’re just kidding - if anything, raising tween awareness of a show that repeatedly features shots of Kim Cattrall’s grisled naked body is going to do more to promote childhood abstinence than almost anything else - but Miley’s decision to remake Sex And The City without the sex is still incredibly troubling.
Why? Because if you remove all traces of sex from Sex And The City, what are you left with? A bunch of ropey-looking old ladies sitting round a table banging on about shoes. And a city. That sounds shit.
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July 16th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
It sounds like Miley (or more likely, Miley’s handlers/managers/hangers-on) at least realizes that her “Hannah Montana” stardom/image has an expiry date, and is trying to re-jig her image appropriately. Maybe she feels that it’s a better bet to erode the value of her Hannah Montana ‘frachise’, in favour of a more grown up image.
Unfortunately, popular child/teen stars don’t often end up as successful adult stars. Hopefully, her Hannah Montana millions have been well invested, as they may be the bulk of her life’s earnings.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
You really don’t live up to your name.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Like I care what some cartoon moppet wants to do. I am continually amazed by what makes the news these days…
OK, so I’m a bit of curmudegeon, who hasn’t taken his nerve tonic yet.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Come on, you saw this coming, didn’t you? Why did you think she was named as Hannah Montana? It’s been a porn star name since day 1.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Cross-post response:
I am now imagining a Batman sequel
based on My Dinner With Andre
in which The Joker attempts to bore
Batman to death over a two hour
lispy dinner. Ha! A retardate dressed
as a bat and an aesthete dwarf
locked in a battle of witlessness.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Usually, someone else has to start the “countdown clock” website on these attractive teen starlets (Olsen twins, for instance). However, I will not be at all surprised if Miley’s next move is to establish and publicize a website counting down until the day she’s 18 and legal to do all this fun adult stuff she’s making it clear that she wants to.
I’ll be even less surprised if her dad and other managers set one up.
July 16th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
>> “I’d love to do a younger, cleaner version of Sex and the City”
Actually, making it younger would make it *dirtier*.
July 17th, 2008 at 11:43 pm
[...] Cyrus might not get this show on the Disney [...]
July 19th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
IS MILEY IN THE MOVIE? (JUST WONDERING)
July 19th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
GO MILEY GO MILEY RULES OVER ROCK STARS GO MILEY GO MILEY + SINGING + SHOW = ROCK STAR, MILEY ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 19th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
MILEY ROCKS!!!!!!!!!
July 19th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
MILEY ROCKS!!!!!!!!. I THINK IT’S A GREAT NO PERFECT IDEA
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:11 am
okay well miley now youve done it. what the heck is wrong with you. you wanna make a sex and city for kids like hello. what are you teaching these kids that look up to you an watch your shows and stuff. okay your going down just like britney spears and jamie lyn. i used to like you but after what i heard with you doing stuff with nick jonas yeah right who would like you now. grow up!! <3
July 29th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
hey miley u rock nd i think u should just grow up nd just be who u want to be but make ur fans happy u got to keep u happy , ur fans , ur family nd me be that person who loves her fans nd respects her self nd is nt an other britany spears or lindsey lohan be u
August 4th, 2008 at 2:52 am
I really have to wonder if she’s ever even seen the show, or if she’s just talking about making this show based upon second-hand knowledge that she has about the show. If she has actually seen the show, the question becomes: why is she, a minor, watching this program in the first place? Does Billy Ray monitor what sortof TV she watches?
August 28th, 2008 at 6:26 am
lool i would like to be on the sex and the city fir kids lool just make sure everyone is above the age 14 till 17 or 16 don’t mind but serious i would be on that show for good