A few years back, I wrote a blog about how Miley Cyrus looks like a living version of the dirty floor of a gay dance club in the ’80s. Back in 2013, Miley was all about smoking weed, listening to rap music, and looking as ratchet and tacky af. It was a beautiful time for a blogger like me.
Now that Miley has chilled the fuck out and settled back down with Liam Hemsworth to live a relaxed beach hippy vegan life, she regrets her raunchy past, which I think is really lame.
Miley has recently come out with a new single “Malibu” about living the mellow life in, you guessed it, Malibu with Liam and their 70 million pets. As you can tell from the above pic, she’s come a long way from this Miley:
In a recent interview, she was asked to play “Marry, Eff, Kill” with three of her past hits: Wrecking Ball, 7 Things I Hate About You, and The Climb. This was Miley’s response:
Marry would probably be ‘The Climb’ because it still has a message I’m down with. Eff would be ‘7 Things.’ Kill would be ‘Wrecking Ball.’ That’s something you can’t take away. Swinging around naked on a wrecking balls lives forever. Once you do that in the mass that I did, it’s forever. I’m never living that down. I will always be the naked girl on the wrecking ball. No matter how much I just frolic with Emu, I’m always the naked girl on the wrecking ball…I should have thought how long that was going to have to follow me around.
Miley regretting Wrecking Ball is like me regretting that time in 2012 when me and my best friend Melissa went to fake prom and I got super wasted and fell into the band’s drum kit while they were playing. Or Melissa regretting the time she got really wasted, got kicked out of the same bar twice, and then when I drunkenly tried to carry her home and I dropped her down some concrete stairs into some bags of garbage. Or me regretting the time I got really drunk in Cuba, pissed myself in a bathroom because I forgot I was wearing a body suit, and a Cuban maid took me to three WRONG rooms until she finally found Melissa. These are the horrible and idiotic stories that define your 20s when you’re a white girl. You don’t wish they were gone, you embrace them and tell EVERYONE even though both your mothers really wish you would stop posting about your drunken escapades on the internet (Sorry Diane and Martina). Maybe Melissa and I never publically rode a Wrecking Ball naked (though we sure pretended to at my stagette), but doing stupid shit and moderately looking like a ratchet lunatic who probably does too many drugs is what being in your 20s is all about! EMBRACE IT!
You know, Miley has come under a lot of scrutiny since trying to present this new image for herself. Aside from regretting the biggest hit of her career, she’s previously talked about how she doesn’t really listen to rap anymore and she’s stopped smoking weed. A lot of people came at her like oh hey, just another white girl appropriating and exploiting black culture then tossing it aside once she’s profited from it, and I totally get why people feel that way. However, it’s kind of like the whole Kendall Jenner in the Pepsi commercial thing. These are young, pretty white women who grew up rich and without formal education. I’m not saying they’re privileged and ignorant and don’t actually comprehend the depth of what they’re doing in terms of the Pepsi commercial and the “I don’t need rap anymore” bit, but, like, I kind of am saying that, I just don’t mean it in a mean way, if that makes sense? Like I don’t think they’re being malicious or insensitive or trying to disrespect anymore, I just think when you grow up a certain way there might be a lack of education there on certain topics, so maybe the backlash could be a learning experience, you know?
Off topic, I know. Sorry. Anyway, Malibu is an ok song, but it’s no Wrecking ball, so Miley needs to chill.