Kids, eh? They just grow up so fast. One minute they’re doe-eyed little bundles of innocence and beauty.
Next they’re lapdancing for men three times their age. Honestly, where does the time go? Just look at Miley Cyrus – a video of her dirty dancing with a 44-year-old movie producer called Adam Shankman has just surfaced. That’s great news if you’re someone who enjoys watching grainy footage of a 16-year-old girl wiping her buttocks up and down a man’s groin, but not such great news if you’re either Miley Cyrus, Adam Shankman or someone with an easily-induced sense of nausea.
It just shows how quickly Miley Cyrus has lost her innocence. Why, we remember when she was just a young girl with a head full of dreams and a MySpace account full of barely-clothed self-portraits of herse… actually, no, Miley Cyrus has always sort of been like this, hasn’t she?
We’re really pleased that Miley Cyrus made The Last Song. We’re sort of annoyed that it was released, because it’s a thundering piece of shit of such magnitude that it deserves to take the place of the atomic bomb in history books as the worst thing that humanity has ever produced, but we’re pleased that Miley Cyrus went through the process of making it.
It really made her grow as a person. Thanks to The Last Song, Miley Cyrus is no longer that immature little girl who took all of those uncomfortably sexual pictures of herself and posted them on MySpace. No, now she’s the mature woman who spent most of that film’s wrap party with her bumhole in uncomfortably close contact with a 44-year-old producer’s crotch. Access Hollywood reports:
According to TMZ Miley, who was 16 at the time, busted some of her dirty dancing (including a racy lap dance) on openly gay Adam, 44, at a wrap party for the movie in Georgia last summer. Miley?s parents were reportedly not at the event and when contacted by TMZ, reps for the teen star had no comment. The people who shot the video were reportedly offended by Miley?s dance.
Oh fine, here’s the Miley Cyrus lapdance video for you to watch. Perverts…
Now, there are two ways to look at this video. One is to see it as Miley Cyrus having fun by developing her still-developing sexuality in the company of a non-threatening gay friend. The other, if you’re whoever write this, is to see it as Miley Cyrus The Teenage Slut basically having it off with an old man – who probably isn’t even gay anyway because they’ve probably had actual sex in real life and they both probably enjoyed it, the sick bastards – in a room full of crying children.
Either way, at least we can be assured of Miley Cyrus’s graduation to a career in straight-to-DVD sub-erotica at point within the next decade. So that’s something.
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Xtina says
Oh god… I hate Miley Cyrus and I wish she would vanish off the face of the earth, but EVERY 16-year-old girl dances like that. I know none of you want to believe that your little sophomore angels are grinding up on guys like that, but if you don’t believe me then just drop in on one of their high school dances and you’ll see. Unfortunately, this is just how “dancing” has evolved and it doesn’t make all the girls who do it teenage sluts. Damn you Patrick Swayze.
Sinead says
Oh my gosh……
I suppose miley was having a bit of fun and Crack but what happened to the Hannah Montana??? Like Lily said in the Hannah Montanah movie
” Dont let Hannah go, She’s a part of you “…………
what happened there?
antoinette says
she’s having fun at a party!! the guy is wrong for dancing with her, he’s grown and should know better…but miley is young and having fun. the video isn’t as bad as people were saying!
Sven says
Please move to Saudia Arabia if you have problems with 16 year old girls dancing at parties. You should live with people who share your norms and values. Leave us the hell alone over here.
stella says
You must be one of the teenager sluts’ client.
Shouldn’t this guy be considered a paederast? She was underage, wasn’t she?
Caitlin says
ew shes a little slutty whore who everyone hates. and needs to keep her slutty hands off justin bieber! jokes but im serious he mine! lol
Rick Garner says
Here’s the thing, just like Miley Cyrus, we’ve all given lap dances. Read more and comment here: http://www.richardtgarner.com/2010/05/like-miley-cyrus-weve-all-given-lap.html
Eric C. says
She is a talented performer. Writes her own music and lyrics? Do not worry about her future. She will shape it the way she wants to, no the other way around. She is 17 and is discovering sensuality , intimacy in her own way under the radar of her family. She is safe. Great artist for the young crowd. Next Madonna or more.Most of her dancing is a silly act. I have children and know something about it.
Paul says
Come on! She’s 16 not 6! 16 year old girls usually know all about sex, and men, and it’s perfectly legal for them to have it in most parts of the civilised world. Ths is just raucous dancing at a party.