Hang on a minute. Miley Cyrus, is that you? Dressed like you’re auditioning for the lead in a new TV series called Cher: The Early Years? Dressed in what can only be described as a sixteenth of a cobweb? Dressed in a way that would make most parents order you to go upstairs and change into something more sensible, at least until they realise that they have a vested financial interest in your uncomfortably burgeoning sexuality?
Apparently so. Miley Cyrus has performed at an awards show in what’s probably her most revealing costume yet. Personally we’re sad – Miley Cyrus shouldn’t be dressing like this at 17. Everyone knows that she should be dressing like this at 25 after a series of bad financial decisions force her into the softcore erotica industry.In many ways, the Perez Hilton Miley Cyrus Crotchgate scandal couldn’t have happened at a better time. That’s mainly because Miley Cyrus is still only 17 so it would have been a bit gross if it happened before now. But also because it drives a wedge between Hannah Montana-era Miley and the late night transvestite revue performer Miley, or whatever it is she’s trying to be at the moment.
Not that she needs much help doing that herself, you understand. She’s poledanced on ice cream wagons, she’s made a video where she dresses up as a sort of bondage-themed Nimbly, she’s dirty-danced with middle-aged men and possibly lesbian kissed a dancer, and now she’s wearing next to nothing at awards ceremonies. It’s almost like she’s a teenage girl trying to make her first tentative footsteps into adulthood or something. It’s disgusting.
But nevertheless, Miley Cyrus recently performed at the Much Music Video Awards wearing a fraction of a leotard, and her vaguely provocative new direction seems to have offended many. Want to see what all the fuss is about? Fine, but don’t say we didn’t warn you…
You see? It makes us sick to our stomach. It’s truly disgusting. We feel ill after watching that. Miley Cyrus should be ashamed of herself. Seriously, singing to Justin Bieber? That girl has no morals. No morals AT ALL.