If what we’ve heard is correct, then Miley Cyrus is a horrible racist who hates the Japanese, loathes the Chinese, and has built hundreds of Eskimo concentration camps out of things like murky sea-ice and decomposing whale bones.
We wouldn’t convey information like that without concrete evidence to back it up – we just wouldn’t! That’s why we need to tell you Miley definitely hates the entire Asian race because she recently allowed her picture to be taken while her pasty white fingers pulled her eyes back at a very tight angle.
Adolf started similarly, but with a more Jewish flare.
Miley Cyrus is the great destroyer as foretold in the Bible, the National Enquirer, and probably in the vast majority of Nostradamus‘ girly, flower covered personal journals. Better to know than not to know, right? Now at least we can formulate a basic ideas of how to fight her.
For instance, we should probably form a military alliance with France and Russia. That would seem prudent.
Miley’s first step in destroying all that is now, or ever has been holy, is to mock Asian people’s general appearance. No, not their stereotypical button up and collared office apparel – their eyes!
All Headline News describes her racist rampage in incredible detail:
“The Organization of Chinese American (OCA) said in a statement: “The photograph of Miley Cyrus and other individuals slanting their eyes currently circulating the internet is offensive to the Asian Pacific American community and sets a terrible example for her many young fans.” Executive Director of OCA George Wu said: “Not only has Miley Cyrus and the other individuals in the photograph encouraged and legitimized the taunting and mocking of people of Asian descent, she has also insulted her many Asian Pacific American fans.”"
Well that last bit, the part about her Asian Pacific American fans being upset and offended, just sounds made up all together. That’s because although Miley has green-lit her music to be releases as mp3s, CDs and vinyl, she’s never once issued any songs in a coconut-friendly format. Hence – there is no way any Pacific islanders would count themselves in her fan base.
We’re on to you, Wu. Like House on the chickenpox, we’re on to you.
Of course the Cyrus camp denies any level of racist intent. That’s why in their published retort Miley almost said:
“I have not now, nor have I ever condoned any form of racism. Now, how come the rim of my pineapple drink tastes like a Mexican finger?”
Well that seems like an odd way to assuage fears of a racist superstar.
Famous people just lose touch.