Mike Tyson To Metaphorically Hump Bollywood

Mike Tyson, possibly heir to the Tyson chicken empire, is a D-list celebrity at best. He used to be famous for tennis or something, but now he's just known for his alternative means of keeping the celebrity limelight directed in his general direction.

Exactly where that limelight is shining from, however, doesn't seem to matter at all. That's why Mike Tyson, the former eight-time Tour de France champion or what-have-you, is moving to Bollywood.

Did we say moving? Well if the definition of 'moving' is 'deciding to make movies there,' then that's exactly what we meant. And he's getting in just in time too. If the rumour-mill is correct again, Tyson's recently been cast as the Orlando Bloom character in the East-Indian version of Elizabethtown - the second highest grossing movie of all time after Star Trek: the Wrath of Khan, which incidentally made $400,000,000 opening weekend selling slide-rules in popcorn buckets.

That's nerd power.

Mike Tyson is a man generally known for maybe being a Nevada-based male-whore, possibly sitting in chair-circles with Lindsay Lohan, and scaring non-specific websites until their advertising space is all full of large brown clumps.

And India - well that's a mystical land known mostly for squelching Richard Gere's lips forever, burning likeness' of Richard Gere and his squelched lips forever and ruining Liz Hurley's magical wedding for a day or so.

This combination of Tyson and India will no doubt cause a sensation as has never before been seen in non-Indian movie theatres, because they generally pass on films recorded with super-eights. Tyson recently filmed a Bollywood-related music video, and he loved it. He said of his experience:

"The atmosphere was very congenial, happy and energetic."

If Iron-Mike's former Olympic synchronised swimming cohorts (or whatever) heard him say something that gay, no doubt they'd hold him underwater until his toes stopped delicately pointing at the ceiling. And as if he hadn't already given his teammates reason enough to tickle and tease him, he went on about his Bollywood dream:

"Firoz [an Indian film producer] has discussed a movie with me. We seriously intend to work toward it."

Sounds like they got the plot down. Just don't forget the love-interest, the edge-of-your-seat intrigue, and the gigantic blue laser-beam robot-dragons. Oh, and the villain - well he should have big juicy medium-rare ears slathered in butter.

We're not sure why.

Read More:

Mike Tyson Wants To Do Bollywood Movies - Forbes.com