Right, that’s it – if Mickey Rourke doesn’t win Best Actor at Sunday’s Oscars, we’re going to tip a table over.

Because, oh, the speech. Mickey Rourke’s acceptance speech was already going to be a belter, full of the “I had nothing but look at me now” sentiment of his other acceptance speeches – but now it’s going to be even better, because Mickey Rourke’s dog has died.

That means if Mickey Rourke wins his Oscar, we’ll all be treated to a wet-faced eulogy for a chihuahua so tortured that it’ll make Heath Ledger’s obituary seem like an afterthought. We can’t wait.

The eagle-eyed among you will remember that when Mickey Rourke won his Golden Globe last month, he singled out his dogs for special praise. According to Rourke, the dogs picked him up and helped him to rebuild himself after his notorious self-destruction, giving him a chance when no other human on Earth would.

When that happened, you probably assumed that Mickey Rourke was referring to rottweilers or mastiffs or some other breed that characterised Mickey Rourke’s rough and ready, fiercely loyal persona. But you were wrong.

Mickey Rourke was talking about chihuahuas. You know, the ratty little dogs that Paris Hilton carries around in her handbags. The dogs that were mocked endlessly in Beverly Hills Chihuahua. The dogs that Paula Abdul will occasionally break her nose on when the mood takes her. It doesn’t seem like a great fit, does it?

Not that it matters much now, though, because Mickey Rourke’s favourite chihuahua Loki has just died. E! Online reports:

The Oscar nominee’s Chihuahua, Loki, one of the dogs memorably thanked by Rourke in his Golden Globe acceptance speech, has died, Rourke’s rep confirmed Tuesday to E! News. Loki passed away Monday night at the ripe old age of 18. The pup was prominently photographed walking the red carpet with his master, who called Loki the “love of [his] life,” at the Venice Film Festival in September.

This news is actually quite sad. Mickey Rourke made no secret of how much his dogs meant to him, and so Loki’s death will probably affect him as much as the death of a human loved one. A freakishly small human loved one with bulgy eyes and too much skin who Mickey Rourke paid to have castrated at the earliest opportunity, admittedly, but let’s not spilt hairs.

And also, let’s not get too depressed about Loki’s death. After all, the death of a pet is known to boost an actor’s success when it comes to awards. Right after George Clooney’s pig died in 2006, for example, George was named as the sexiest man on Earth. And now there’s a chance that Mickey Rourke’s favourite dog has died days before he’s named as Best Actor at this year’s Oscars. Dead pets help win awards, everyone knows that.

So, you know, what we suppose we’re trying to say is this: don’t be too surprised if Brad Pitt gets arrested for ramming a stick of dynamite into Maddox’s rabbit’s mouth before the weekend. That’s all.

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