Mick Jagger Bags Bush’s Bed

Mick Jagger is very ugly, but the hotel rooms he usually stays in are extravagant and beautiful. He likes to stay in hotels where the sheets aren't made of burlap, and the black crunchy carpet doesn't run under cracks in the walls every time you flip the lights on. We'd really like to know what that's like.

M. Jagger's not the only one that likes a good hotel room though. So does G.W. Bush. Unfortunately for the two of them, there's only one good room in Vienna, and they're both to be in town at the same time.

George Bush wants the room that Mick Jagger booked a few days before him, and Jagger's too busy being in a band way too long to be bothered finding another. Their next meeting will be so awkward.

George W. Bush and Mick Jagger are both going to be in Vienna, Austria at the same time. Bush will be there for a summit meeting, and Mick will be there hoping all those vibrating guitars on stage don't rattle loose the epoxy that keeps his teeth in.  The rock star booked the room, and the other Stones and crew have the rest of the floor, all of which Bush and co. were hoping to reserve for themselves. Initial reports had it that the hotel in choice was actually a particularly nice Red Roof Inn, but those reports proved to be extremely false. A Jagger-ite had this to say:

“White House officials had wanted to reserve the suite and all the other rooms on the first floor. But Mick and the Stones had already booked every one of them. Bush’s people seemed to be under the impression that they would just hand over the suites but there was no way Mick was going to do that.”

The chief room in question, the one that both superstars would like to house them for a night or two, it's a bit costly. More precisely, it's £3,600 per night. The roaches in that place are said to each wear a little bow tie and carry a piece of expensive cheese on their back, if you want it, you just jab it with a toothpick and offer sincere thanks. Technically there are no roaches, trained or otherwise.

Our usual interview guys just left us to write for The View, and we don't know how to get directly ahold of Jagger for questions. We did however get directly ahold of his sock puppet likeness that we keep in our secretary's middle desk drawer, and he answered our questions just fine.

We asked it, for instance, why Mick didn't try to stay amiable with the American head of state, and offer to share the room on the night in question. After all, they could wear fancy robes, feed each other ten dollar snickers bars in the heart shaped hot tub, wrestle… the list goes on.

Sock Puppet Mick's only reply was "Hey man, he ain't no David Bowie." We weren't quite sure what that meant, and the gleam in his eye told us not to ask. 

Read more:

Mick Jagger Books Bush's Bed - FemaleFirst

[story by Shawn Lindseth]