You know, since Michael Jackson died – we literally haven’t eaten a thing. We just can’t.
Well – not to say we can’t eat anything. What we mean is when we eat things now – we only consume things that we think he would have cherished. Like veal. Because it’s young.
We haven’t drank anything either – except for milk, juice, and water. Our family and friends tell us we have to eat something else or we’ll die. We say we refuse to – not in a world without MJ!
Lucky for our thinning frame, then, Michael’s not actually dead. Here’s video to prove it.
When several city employees stuffed Michael Jackson‘s body bag into the back of a mortician’s truck, we thought to ourselves ‘self, somethin’ don’t smell right up in here.’ It ends up it was our dog that didn’t smell right. He’d eaten an old burrito.
There were several things we didn’t like about that video – for instance – the ambulance driver seemed quite unaffected and emotionless. If Michael Jackson was really dead then he wouldn’t have been able to drive through all those tears. In fact, if Michael were really dead – that ambulance would probably still be idling in his driveway because an exhaustive search for somebody who wasn’t crying profusely would have turned up nothing.
Also – in frame 37 of that video we saw a Coke can kick across the bottom of the? screen – proving once and for all that Jacko had never actually set foot on the moon.
Wait… sorry about that – it appears we’re getting our conspiracies mixed up.
Anyhow – you know how right after the entertainer died there was a video of his ghost spreading all across the land? Well we’ve got another death-defying video for you. This one shows MJ actually stepping out of the back of a coroner’s van and being feebly escorted through a door. It was captured on a cell phone, and is obviously true because people involved with covering up his death probably had strict orders to not look around at all before opening up a car door and helping the most famous, recently-dead pop star in the world out for a breather.
Also – keep in mind before watching the video that MJs face is never, ever shown in it. Thus the person in the middle of everything could have been either Michael Jackson, or any number of thin, frail women.
Science definitely indicates it’s Michael, though.
Here’s what the Telegraph says:
“In the footage, which appears to have been filmed in an underground garage, a man is escorted from the back of a white van and through a doorway by a guard. While the man appears to have Jackson’s build and dark hair, his face is entirely obscured.”
So now, without further ado, we give you the concrete, 100% undeniable, ground shaking, incontestable, incontrovertible, indisputable evidence that Michael Jackson is so alive he’ll probably even perform at your funeral:
maryellen mcdowell says
go and get a life have you nothing better to do than take the piss out of people
mj4eva says
stupid ass motherfukers….leave mj rest in peace ok..asswipe…who the fuck are u too judge motherfucking people??
MJ4Never says
Michael Jackson is a freak of nature who has been slowly decaying since he burnt his scalp during the Pepsi commercial. He is a psychologically screwed up pop star that never had a real childhood and therefore felt the need to befriend little children to fill the void. Whether he is alive or dead, he has been dead to most people for the last decade other than appearing in court with regards to inappropriate gestures he made towards children that DEFINATELY occurred. When he was in his prime no doubt he was an amazingly talented singer and artist, but he has been living in that shadow for decades and is probably better off dead anyways.
Midahoney says
Let MJ go wheither he is dead is no ones to say otherwise. He has gone and will never be fotgotten. . . no matter what the negative people say. Live you life as he did his… by helping as many as he did. The negative comments of his life is what we do behind close doors is for no one to JUDGE R I P MJ
sarah says
HI, SORRY FOR CAPS ON BUT HAVE P.C PROBLEM. I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO PERSONALLY KNOW MICHAEL. HE WAS A VERY LOVING, CARING AND COMPASSIONATE MAN. HE NOT ONLY LOVED HIS FANS, HE SUPPORTED ALMOST 3000 CHARITIES (THAT IS HOW I FIRST MET HIM) AND WE NEVER PARTED AFTER THAT. HE HAD SEVERAL PHYSICAL ILLNESSES, WHICH IS WHY HE WAS ON PAIN KILLERS AND XANAX,(I ALSO HAVE THE VERY SAME ILLNESSES HE HAD, SO I CAN UNDERSTAND THE DRUG SIDE) I CANT EXPLAIN THE OTHER STUFF AS IT IS IN THE HANDS OF AUTHORITIES AND CANT BE DISCLOSED. I SAY PLEASE JUST LET HIM BE….. LET HIS CRITICS BE SILENCED AND HIS FANS BE LEFT TO DEAL WITH THEIR LOSS….
angel says
Wow scary and every one else that left a message STOP BEING SO FUCKIN MEAN!
Jade says
You Can Not See That It Is Micheal Jackson, So Why Say It Is Him, This Video Aint Proof Of Nuffin !!!! Kmt You Sad People Need to Leave The Guy To Rest in Peace! And Stop Making Shit Up, Who Ever Did This Needs To Get A life Onna Reals!!!!!!!
theresa says
hello , people are so mean on here, Micheal jackson was the best ,,,,, everyone has there problems. he had his. he is human. RIP MJ, I love you! if you people have nothing nice to say about MJ “keep it too your self as your mother told you ……..
sonia says
michael jackson was/is one of the best performers ever, black or white young or old he worked his magic on stage michael will continue living in his songs
so let us let him rest in eternal peace
tara says
Ok this is just getting out of hand! I think that you all need to stop all this bull Shit and let Michael Jackson rest in peace! Do you really thank that he would have put his kids and his family throw all this if he was alive! I think that you need to get a life of your own and stop trying to make money on this dumb ass Story.
JieYu says
I know tat this isnt real,its a rumor. but i really wish tat MJ is nt dead
sarah says
FIRST SORRY FOR CAPS ON BUT P.C PROB. I JUST WANTED TO REPLY TO JADE 29 AUG.
A CORONER HAD REMOVED HIS BRAIN AND DISSECTED IT!
YOU CANT STAY INTACT IN A MORGUE UNLESS THEY FREEZE YOU. THE HUMAN BODY BREAKS DOWN PRETTY QUICK, WITHIN 24HOURS THE EYES TURN TO LIQUID, THE BODY BECOMES STIFF AND CHANGES COLOR, AND DUE TO OUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM, IF LEFT ALONE, YOUR INTERNALS WILL EXPLODE OUT DUE TO THE TOXIC GAS THAT IS FOUND IN EVERYONE, AS YET SCIENCE HAS NOT DEVELOPED THE MEANS OF FREEZING AND UNFREEZING A LIVING PERSON, EACH MICROSCOPIC BLOOD VESSEL TURNS INTO A RAZOR SHARP PIECE OF ICE THAT DAMAGES ALL TISSUE IN THE BODY.
SO ON EVIDENCE AND NOT ON FOOTAGE OF AN UNIDENTIFIED PERSON THAT YOU CANT SEE..
HIS DR STATED HE WAS DEAD, THE PARAMEDICS SAID HE WAS DEAD, THE HOSPITAL STAFF SAID HE WAS DEAD, AND THE CORONER SAID HE WAS DEAD, HIS FAMILY SAW HIM DEAD, (ON HEARSAY I WAS TOLD HIS BODY WAS ON DISPLAY FOR A FEW DAYS SO HIS FANS COULD SEE HIM DEAD).. NOW ARE YOU SAYING THAT HE COULD SURVIVE A FULL DISSECTION AND CONTINUE TO NOT ONLY LIVE IN A DEEP FREEZER BUT THAT HE WOULD ALSO SURVIVE HAVING HIS BRAIN REMOVED AND DISSECTED??? WOULD YOUR CORONER LIE???? WOULD ALL THE LAPD AND THE HOMICIDE DETECTIVES STAGE THEIR WORK ON THE CASE????? WOULD THE CITY OF L.A PICK UP THE TAB ON THE COST THAT THEY INCURRED DURING THE PERIOD THAT THEY HAD TO PUT ON A HIGHER AMOUNT OF STAFF????? DO YOU THINK THAT SOMEONE BE SO CRUEL TO STAGE A MEMORIAL AND PEOPLE PAYING TO ATTEND???
YES THERE WILL BE THOSE WHO COME OUT SAYING IT WAS ALL STAGED TO GET SALES (HE WAS BROKE) AND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS INSTANTLY, AND TO AVOID DOING ANY TOUR (HE WAS NOT PHYSICALLY ABLE TO DO ANY TOUR).
LOOK, ALTHOUGH I MISS HIM JUST THE SAME AS HIS FANS, YOU HAVE TO GO ON EVIDENCE, IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO EVEN START AN AUTOPSY ON A LIVE PERSON. WHEN SOMEONE DIES RIGAMORTIS SETS IN, SO WHEN YOU GO TO MAKE A CUT, THERE IS NO BLEEDING, IF HE WAS ALIVE THEY WOULD OF NOTICED STRAIGHT AWAY AS A PIN PRICK WOULD HAVE CAUSED BLOOD FLOW. AND THEY WOULD HAVE CEASED AND PUT HIM IN ICU… A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE FEELING HURT OVER THIS.. BUT I PERSONALLY DON’T KNOW OF ANYONE WHO COULD HAVE SURVIVED THIS…
YES IN HISTORY PEOPLE HAVE STAGED THEIR DEATHS SO THAT THEIR FAMILY CAN CLAIM INSURANCE MONEY AND THEY JUST GO INTO HIDING….. 10YRS LATER THEY TURN UP…
BUT ITS NOT POSSIBLE TO HAVE YOUR BODY FROZEN AND GO THROUGH AN AUTOPSY AND STILL LIVE…
IT IS ALL SO STRANGE, AS FAR AS HIS FAMILY GO… THEY WANTED HIM PUT INTO A MENTAL HOSPITAL ABOUT 5 YEARS AGO, BUT HE DIES AND THEIR EMOTION IS SO FAKE LOOKING. CHEERS….. HI MO
:-)
City Streets says
Whattt type of mess is this?????????????????? Man I think that was my grandmother getting out of that van, oh my fault is has been dead for 14 yrs
maryellen mcdowell says
what do you know you stupid person and before you cap a word make sure you DEFINITELY spell it CORRECTLY
Slipdipidis says
Wow, whoever posted this video here wrote a lot of words like incontestable, incontrovertible, indisputable… Unfortunately… there are MANY scrutiny’s that can be placed. Lets start with… WHY. Why, with SO MUCH security up to that point, would they allow a photographer (who wasn’t very stealthy by the way) to just walk into that long tunnel behind Michael Jackson’s supposed Coroner van without being stopped or blocked from that view. It might be real, IT”S PROBABLY NOT. This conspiracy theory has happened before you know… except now we can replace Elvis with, “Michael has left the building.”
By the way… the person who wrote all that irrefutable evidence jargon has a lot to learn about trace sources and being skeptical… there is nothing indisputable about that video. I’m willing to bet that whole thing was staged… compare van shots and see if the markings on the van match the CNN video of the rear of the van… I bet they don’t match when you start to look closely.
fatima says
R.I.P MY BROTHER MJ .. Love u forever
Jessica says
Wether he is dead or alive, let the man rest in peace!!
R.I>P Michael LOVE U 4EVER!
Jessica says
R.I.P (Sorry)
Cant wait to see this is it
Jodie says
That person in the video is not tall enough to be Michael Jackson.
tiffany says
That is not really him, well i dont believe thats him only because i seen the other pics and it says that he is dead. But anyway I Love U Michael Jackson you are the best. I want you to R.I.P ALWAYS if you were here right now OMG you just dont know. I miss you alot and God Bless you I know you are in Heaven and i will see you one day.
Your Gurl, Lyrika
Tina Brazee says
Sarah,
You did not know Mike. You are trying to get your 15 minutes of fame. You never parted, huh? How come the family doenn’t know you?
Unlike you, I DID know Mike for 25 years and I know he never met you. You do not have the same illnesses he had. Come clean and tell the truth. I asked Janet if Mike knew you and she said he did not know you at all. She would know since she’s known him her whole life. I also asked Kat, his mom and she said the same thing as Janet.
Tina Brazee says
Removing his brain was a rumor. It wasn’t removed. His family wanted him rehab, not a mental hospital. You don’t know anything about him because you never knew him.
Tina Brazee says
His body wasn’t on display. Kate and Joe decided to have the casket closed instead of open, so the fans never got to see his body, and as for Dr Murray, he is not a real person.
Emily Hutjes says
Dear Sarah,
I loved what you wrote and I understand why you are upset, because people say -they knew Michael- and they did not. I also do not understand why some people disliked Michael Jackson. There was nothing to dislike about him. Maybe because Michael was a true good human being that people disliked him. They cannot be as good as Michael was and that bothers them. He was great and good in so many things and also a truly good father and he gave this world so much to learn from. You had best turn away from people that talk bad. Love you, Emily Hutjes,[email protected] The Netherlands.
Emily Hutjes says
Dear Tina Brazee, so sorry I addressed my comment, which was meant for you, to SARAH. I am very sorry about that. Please read my answer addressed to Sarah and forgive me my mistake please. Emily Hutjes [email protected] The Netherlands.
Tina Brazee says
Hi Emily,
Thank you for your comment. Everyone makes mistakes. I read it. Thank you for the kind words about Mike. His family and I appreciate them. He was a good and kind man, so loving and passionate. He loved his fans, friends, and family with all his heart. So, once again, thank you. You are a very sweet young lady.
tiffany says
omg i love u mj even thoguh i cant say dat dis is fake or not u can t see his face so u cant kno if its him or it isnt but if it is u mj I LOVE U BABY!! but if it isnt yall need to stop puttin dis fake stuff online gettin ppl all hoped up
rest in peace mj love u!!