Michael Jacksons Naked Penis To Be Shown In The Dr. Conrad Murray Trial

The death of Michael Jackson was one of those moments where, in future years, people will ask each other what they were doing. In the hecklerspray bedsit, we were knocking back a drink made out of orange peel, toe jam and window condensation whilst trying to come up with amusing jokes. We’ve only accomplished one of the above.

Since Jacko stopped living, it appears that the only people mourning the king of pop’s life are his children who have been unwillingly propelled in to the limelight. However, a bunch of his fans keep his spirit alive by continually telling us he’s the greatest and all modern music is rubbish.

However, it is in the court room that many see Jackson, thanks to constant accusations that tarnished his reputation beyond repair. And now, oddly, images of Jackson’s genitals have been requested for the impending trial of Dr Conrad Murray. We imagine it’ll resemble a pale, thin sausage in a jar.

Usually, we’d pad this out with observations about the various arguments about Michael Jackson and Dr. Conrad Murray. Fans of Jackson will argue that before he was involved in a nasty accident filming an advert for Pepsi, he was a healthy bloke. Unfortunately, we can’t quite use the word normal to describe him due to the crazy antics. Once one of our mates can afford to put his own theme park in his back garden, then he’ll be just like us.

Until the death of Michael Jackson, we didn’t really know much about Dr. Conrad Murray. For all we knew, he was just another doctor who was able to give out painkillers like they were sweets. Somehow he got to be the personal doctor of Jackson which more than likely suited him just fine. Perhaps Murray got special privileges that he wouldn’t get at any medical practice, such as using a sparkling silver glove to administer prescriptions instead of conventional latex.

Murray looked after Michael toward the end of his life, when we would see him looking fragile and resembling an extra from his Thriller days.

For some reason that we don’t understand, thanks to our grotesque lack of intelligence, a judge has ruled that the jury investigating Michael Jackson’s death will be allowed to see photos taken at the stars autopsy. Perhaps it’s to see if Dr. Conrad Murray took advantage of Jackson and injected painkillers in to his penis, keeping skin puncture marks on the arms hidden so people wouldn’t think he was a heroin junkie. We guess, in some weird way, that is responsible care of a patient. But has Murray done something to Jacksons meat and two veg that we shouldn’t know? His defence team tried to block the images from being shown.

“Although they are tragic, they are not gruesome or gory,” said Deputy District Attorney David Walgren. In one image, the King of Pop’s naked body is laid out on a coroner’s examination table, with parts of his body obscured for decency reasons. In another, he is wearing a hospital gown.”

If any members of the jury happen to have a fetish for necrophilia, then this could very well be their lucky day!

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Comments

  1. Dave says

    Please help me, i’m a sick troll4life. I’m a pedo worshipper Please help me get my delusional blog shuttered. As you can read, I’m a liar and a creep. I don’t get sleep. I troll all over the net.

  2. says

    Wow, Matthew you really have hit a new low. Jokes about a dead man’s penis???? What about that can even be considered ok? Just goes to show the state of this world’s compassion when people write stuff like this and other people find it funny. To the people who think this is funny….you are sick in the head and need professional help!

  3. gilbert wham says

    What isn’t funny about a dead man’s penis? Especially if it’s Michael Jackson’s?

  4. mj lover NOT A HATER!! says

    Matthew Laidlow, you are fc@king sick. how dare you make sick jokes about michael jackson, u biosed ba@*rd.i hope u die!!!!

  5. Cookie Monster says

    So, jokes about a passed-on pecker are “lower” than jokes about other body parts of the deceased. Interesting. Where does a bunghole land on this scale? How about balls, are they above or below the wanker?

    Ah, sorry, please add ??? at the end of each question, because I really, really, really, really want to be sure that people understand that they are questions.

  6. yours4eve says

    Sarcasm is highly overrated. You only succeed in displaying the basest of human emotions. Shame on you.

  7. Chris says

    Writing anything about Michael Jackson is a simple way to gain media attention requiring no skill whatsoever. So famous and charismatic is he, even in death, that inadequates working for bog standard websites and publications such as this one know that they only have to mention the name Michael Jackson and immediately their readership blossoms from a handful to hundreds of thousands the world over. It matters not if what they have trotted out is true or false, usually, and sadly, it is the latter. Millions around the planet love and admire Michael Jackson. He was the greatest performer of all time and his name and work are woven into our history to be celebrated always. The person who wrote this article however – I hope for your sake that you are remembered for something more ..

  8. Zelle says

    Not funny at all, instead it is sad, but it only comes from sad people anyway, even though they are laughing of course. In any case, whatever you use to make fun in your life is the fruit of a sad history. But Michael instead never used anyone to make them pay for his sadness. Get some help:-)

  9. BitchYouMad says

    The writer of this article is probably one of the most ignorant, retarded people to ever walk this earth.

    You are a disgrace. I suggest you go get an education, other than hanging out in the back stairwell of your high school sharing one cigarette you stole from your mom’s purse with all of your seven friends.

    R.I.P Michael J. Jackson, King of Pop.

  10. BeatsfastBasslow says

    HAHAHA. The only people who were mourning his death were his children?

    Um, how about no. Maybe ask the 1.5 billion people around the world who were watching his memorial service. Not to mention countless of friends and humanitarians, like Nelson Mandela, who paid their respects in third world countries.

    In other worlds, people that have more purpose in their little finger than this writer here has in their whole body.

    Go get your fat white ass outside, instead of sitting on your computer writing jokes about a dead human being.

  11. Anna says

    Don’t worry about it Jennie. Matt’s just jealous because nobody wants to see his penis now while he’s alive so I doubt anybody is going to want to see it when he’s dead. I seriously doubt the judge would allow anyone to see MJ’s penis. Matt needs to get a life or this hate fixation he has on MJ is going to destroy him, IMHO.

  12. tea says

    Seriously Jennie, this post wasn’t even near being funny, its just disturbing and wierd.

  13. ryan says

    One of the stupidiest articles ever written. Better hope i dont find out where you live Mathew you faggot but just so you know ill be trying!!!

  14. ouch says

    Matthew Laidlow is obviously wasting my oxigen, living his poor life…

    Never mind, guys.
    Journalism is a kind of activity where even the mentally retarded can make a career.)

  15. gilbert wham says

    Nice job with the ‘literate, yet still crazy’ MJ fan, but you fucked up your ellipsis at the end there…

  16. gilbert wham says

    Oh, come on, that’s unkind. Granted, Mof can’t spell for toffee, poor lad, but mentally retarded?

  17. deja says

    FIRST OF ALL STOP CALLING HIM JACKO BITCH AND SECOND YEAH HIS KIDS MOURNED AND ALL THE OTHER 20.30000000000 PEOPLE OUT THIER SO JUST BECUASE YOU A HATER DONT MEAN DISRESPECT HIM JUST GO GET A LIFE AND STOP RUINING OURS AND I SWEAR IF I GET FAMOUS FOR SINGING AT A YOUNG AGE AND YOU SAY STUFF ABOUT ME THEIR WILL BE NO MORE PAPPARAZZI YOU PEOPLE DONT KNOW WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

  18. says

    I know I should learn my lesson and just not respond to these stupid people, but sometimes I can’t help myself. You’re right though that particular area of Michael’s body will be blurred out in the photos shown in court. I still struggle to understand why people waste so much time hating on Michael. Why spend so much time and energy on something you don’t like? Don’t most people avoid things that they don’t like?

  19. says

    We don’t find it funny, but there are a lot of people who obviously do…and then people wonder what wrong with this world… ummmm how about the people in it!

  20. Cookie Monster says

    “THE OTHER 20.30000000000 PEOPLE OUT THIER”

    What an astoundingly precise number, though I’m not sure that it’s accurate.

    Good luck with your famous for singing at a young age career. That you’re as dumb as a cracked brick means that you’ll fit right in with all of the other famous for singing at a young age types!

  21. Jessica H. says

    And you’re acting like Michael Jackson was like a Justin Bieber, or a Rebecca Black.

    Well, “Cookie Monster”, you know absolutley nothing.

    Go watch his Motown performance in 1984, where he perfected the moonwalk in front of thousands of watching eyes and stamped out his place in musical history.

    Go watch him singing “Another Part of Me” on the Bad Tour.
    Or, any other song for that matter.

    Go watch his Superbowl Halftime Performance in 1993 — the most viewed halftime show in recorded history, and very well considered the best Superbowl performance of all time.

    Go watch his MTV Video Awards performance in 1995.

    Go watch his performance in Bill Clinton’s inauguration ball — a heartfelt tribute to Ryan White, and others, who have died from AIDS.

    If you can’t see pure, fixated, raw talent in that, then…well, the world’s waiting for YOU to do better.

  22. Rachel says

    Lol… something tells me that this Matthew Laidlow guy’s package isn’t all too impressive… feeling a little penis envy?

    This article’s trash. Mr. Laidlow skills as a writer makes me laugh.

  23. Jay says

    Your the fucking low life, he was a billionaire who had a life!! You on the other is a poor fuck wit who sticks his/her fingers up his mums hairy ass stink vagina too much…so fuck you!

  24. Jay says

    This motherfucker who wrote this article is a crock of shit. When your day finally comes to an end (HALLELUJAH!!) and i’ll for sure post something like this on the net about you. And i’ll make damn sure people will be laughing this time, coz this crock of shit you wrote, isnt even funny. Its just straight weird and stupid, its not even worth reading about. SO FUCK YOU!

  25. Cookie Monster says

    Ah, Jennie, struggle no more; you merely underestimate the level of convolution of the human mind. Sometimes picking at something that is hated is fun. Think of an itchy scab, Germany in the early forties, a flat tire, or MJ (and/or his wee dinky).

  26. Cookie Monster says

    Well, “Jessica H.” (I’m wiggling my fingers doing air-quotes just now, so take that!) you are wrong on several fronts. I do not consider the Biebs and Rebecca Black to be like MJ. For starters, neither has a penis; though, come to think of it, if they did have one, and they wiggled it in a naughty way after a splash of wine, that would give them something in common with Jacko. Go watch grass growing, and enjoy the beauty of a well tended lawn. Go watch Janet Jackson’s glinty nipple flap about during her half-time show, and know that you have watched something that someone somewhere considers entertaining. Go watch a random video on YouTube, and tell me if you can’t see something or other that has nothing to do with anything.

    If you can’t understand that on one hand you have early MJ, the very talented young man, and on the other you have later MJ, the very damaged, delusional, indeed, totally bonkers pin-up for celebrities gone gaga, then you lack what we call “sense”.

  27. Jessica H. says

    Ouch! You sure showed me!

    Who said that the “later MJ” had any diminishing of talent? Where is that line drawn? Who said he wasn’t sane, able to formulate a complete sentence, normal, and practical? His interview on Fox News in 2006 showed a very composed, normal, religious hard-hitting 47 year old man. In 2009, ABC interviewed him on his 50th birthday. Again, completely at ease, and far off the mark of what one would consider ‘delusional or damaged.’ Of course, wasn’t the same performer that he was in his early years. That’s something to be expected, considering he has been an entertainer and kept it up much longer than The Beatles (1960–1970) or Elvis Presely (1954–1977), being in in the same league with theme in the global music industry. He did his highest grossing HIStory tour from 1997-98 when he was in his early forties. His place in the industry was still going strong. It’s impratical to mock or scoff at his ‘diminishing’ career in his late forties — he was raising children and getting older.

    I’m going to take a wild guess and say you are under fifty. Michael Jackson has lived 100 years worth of experiences in four decades. Why is it such a shock that he wasn’t the same at the end then he was in the beginning? People change, but no where is there a place where Michael Jackson exhibited abnormal delusion, aside from his normal eccentricties that he had going ever since his BAD era.

    If you can point out specific situations, then please.

  28. natureofmymind says

    Leave this man alone. He’s had enough shit to deal with without being picked on all the time. As far as I know, Michael Jackson was a good person, and no one has any reason to think otherwise. Next time you’re feeling judgmental, look in the mirror. Because the ugliness you see in others is most likely inside yourself.