Michael Jackson has gone from being the most famous popstar in the world, to being something of a penny peep show, to being the most infamous perishable piggy bank in the land. His estate continually picks up his corpse and rattles it to see if there’s any coins left in there.
And so, with each rattle comes new speculation about his financial well-being. Alas, it seems that his bank account’s health was in direct proportion to his literal state of wellness.
Oh, and we’re legally obliged to now say the word ‘Propofol’.
Apparently, Jackson’s estate has managed to whip his cadaver so efficiently that, since his death, he’s managed to generate an impressive $310 million in revenue from album sales, a film, merchandising and other products. He’s the hardest working ghost in showbusiness.
Alas, it isn’t all cheery news. Administrators have used $159 million of that to pay Jackson’s debt. Apparently, when he snuffed the lid, Jackson owed more than $400 million. That’s a staggering amount of money to owe people. It would appear that, when MJ looked at himself in the mirror in the late ’80s and sang “I’m gonna make a change, for once in my life”, he clearly meant “I’m going to spunk every single dollar I get my hands on up the wall and it’ll be fine.”
Despite shifting millions of dollars since his death, there are still people holding out their hands, coughing ‘excuse me’.
Court documents say:
“Although there remain unresolved creditor claims, pending litigation and additional challenging business, tax and legal issues, and the estate is not yet in a condition to be closed, the executors have made substantial progress in reducing the estate’s debt”
Just to be on the safe side, we’ll mention the anaesthetic, Propofol, again.
Jackson is now teaming up with Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon and Elvis in some VIP section in heaven, where they all sit around a table made of clouds, discussing the best ways to rake in millions of coins from people still feeling a perfectly managed grief, exploited by the various estates. Lisa Marie Presley is probably working overtime taking messages from both her dead father and dead former husband, both of who were rather fond of gobbling down pills and getting completely off their tits.
It helps with the pain of superstardom, we know, we know.
Amazingly, even Michael Jackson managed to get in debt from death itself. A couple of noteworthy costs were the $900,000 payment to Forest Lawn Memorial cemetery where Jackson’s body is currently trying to get a minute’s peace and quiet… another cheque written was for $35,000 in expenses listed as “costume for memorial.”
Absolutely amazing! They should have chucked him in a pauper’s grave and let the fans have a whip-round to pay for a send-off. They’re mental enough to do it, right?
So, the rub of the green is this: MJ had more than $400 million in debts when he died/did us all a favour and has made $310 million since. That means there are still some debtors who need paying off, which means we’ll no doubt have to suffer some more half-baked releases of ‘previously unheard’ material from Jackson’s musical vaults.
If the people who are owed money start suing, then fully expect a spate of dreadful Jackson products. We can only hope that someone makes a Michael Jackson dildo that’s an exact replica of the King Of Pop’s member… just so we can all clear up that ‘unusual markings’ question once and for all.
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Nonplussed says
Ooh! You are naughty and provocative.
Suzanne says
Why and when did you lose your humanity and your heart? Is it not adequate to discuss the deceased estate, without using derogatory references? Where is your professionalism or is this exceptable ‘reporting’ in the media? What have we been reduced to, when ridicule and sarcasm, is acceptable journalism; with no regard to the grieving family?
Patty says
Who the hell is this guy saying all this crap? Shame on you asswipe! Leave Michael alone.
Debra says
It actually sickens me that people who write about the news, sometimes write it in a way to ‘destroy’ instead of just giving the facts. You may feel that your way of offering up details is amusing, or maybe you feel it gets you viewership, but really it’s offensive and evil intended. Is that what you’d like to be known for? Does “Do unto others…” offer any significance to you? Can you report information and get ahead by having integrity and let proper sanity and compassion prevail? At least Michaels’ short-comings are few compared to the depth of his heart, his philanthropic ambitions, and what he did to bring the world joy, compassion and love. Does your special, eccentric ‘outflow’ of information or any of your contributions uplift and make anyone feel good or do anything for the betterment of the world? …Huh? I’d love to hear back from you and get some answers on why you seek to destroy with such certainty and pleasure. Until then, I’ll pray for your enlightenment and for your journey to becoming a fellow human being.
Daia says
Totalmente absurdo e sem proposito falar dos membros de MJ um tnato quanto desrespeitoso. Amo Michael e os respeito pelo que ele