You read that right. Michael Jackson’s London comeback could be in jeopardy already. But why? Has his nose fallen off?

No, Michael Jackson’s nose hasn’t fallen off. Has his chin fallen off? No, Michael Jackson’s chin hasn’t fallen off. Has one of his eyebrows come loose? Look, Michael Jackson’s comeback isn’t in danger because parts of his anatomy keep dropping off, OK? There’s another reason. Concentrate. Remember who we’re talking about.

He’s been sued! Apparently Michael once signed a contract promising not to perform in public until 2010, and now it’s returned to bite him on what remains of his arse.

If you’re one of the million people who’ve bought tickets to Michael Jackson’s big comeback residence at the O2 this summer, we have some bad news. And, for possibly the first time in your life, that news isn’t that you’re in the stupidest percentile of the population thanks to your slavish devotion to a consistently disappointing weirdo who can’t let go of his childhood and looks a little bit like a beached malnourished dogturd.

No. The bad news is that the concerts might be off. And not for any of the reasons you’d expect either, like illness or stagefright or another arrest on suspicion on touching children in bad places – the concerts might be off thanks to a legal threat from another concert promoter. Reuters reports:

New Jersey-based AllGood Entertainment Inc contends it signed an agreement in November with Jackson’s manager, Frank DiLeo, committing the singer to perform in July 2010 along with his brothers from the Jackson Five and sister Janet Jackson. Under the agreement, Michael Jackson cannot give another concert until that Jackson Family reunion show, said Patrick Allocco, managing partner.

We have to admit to feeling a number of conflicting emotions about this. There’s sadness, obviously – the sadness that all those people who paid over the odds to watch a dancing skeleton in a wig wheeze a bunch of 25-year-old songs surrounded by several terrified elephants and one terrified child might end up heartbroken. Then there’s comfort – comfort in the knowledge that, whatever crazy crap happens in the world, there’s always going to be someone with a decent excuse to sue Michael Jackson.

Obviously AllGood Entertainment is genuinely upset about the hurt caused by this alleged breach of contract, and isn’t just suing Michael Jackson because it heard that he’ll be £50 million better off by the autumn and fancied a slice for itself. That’s definitely not the case.

But in all honesty we’d secretly like the lawsuit to halt Michael Jackson’s comeback. Not because we enjoy revelling in the misfortune of others – although, you know - but because it’d rubberstamp the concerts featuring Michael Jackson, The Jackson Five and Janet Jackson. That’s, like, getting to watch six middle-aged hasbeens trudge through the motions out of financial necessity for the price of one. Bargain.

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