In the Michael Jackson (CDs) trial, the defence is doing it’s best to clear Jackson’s name against accusations that he molested a boy.

Already, the team have pulled off what’s been seen as a pivotal moment of the trial, when Macaulay Culkin (DVDs) denied any sexual activity between the pair. And that, the whole world hoped, was to be the start of a flood of celebrities into the courtroom, all singing Jackson’s praises for the world to see (or at least, for the world to see going in and coming out of the court house).

But now the judge has passed a ruling that has made everyone – especially the lookalike agencies -  sad and disappointed. He’s effectively banned celebrities from the court house.

The premise for this shock ruling is that a number of celebrities -
including Liz Taylor (DVDs), some Backstreet Boys (CDs), maybe even Stevie Wonder (CDs) -
were being lined up to testify as character witnesses. But the judge
has said that "character is not an issue".

So what have we got to look forward to? Well, Larry King is still
expected to stand as a witness, possibly sometime next week. That’s OK
if you’re American and you care about Larry King, but we don’t. Barry
Gibb from The Bee Gees (CDs) was on a provisional witness list. He’s English
(more or less), so he should be allowed in, just for the sake of
fairness.

All this culling of celebrities seems to be part of a plan to cut
down the length of the trial. It’s been dragging on since February. And
if we don’t get to see Diana Ross (CDs) telling everyone what a nice man
Michael Jackson is, well that’s OK with us.

In other trial news, the team for the defence has claimed that
Jackson’s accusers were seen stealing wine and money from Jackson, and
then masturbating to pornography on a bed.

As with any trial, we won’t know how this will end until the very
last day. But wouldn’t it have been nice to see Quincy Jones (CDs), if only
for a second or two?

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[story by Stuart Heritage]