Now that Michael Jackson has finally realised that he's skint put his child molestation troubles behind him, there's talk of a brand new Michael Jackson album being released, his first since that crappy one from five years ago.

According to reports, a new batch of Michael Jackson music will hit the shelves at some point next year. Which seems a bit hopeful if we're honest – that Michael Jackson Hurricane Katrina single still hasn't seen the light of day seven months after he announced it, so we'd be surprised if we heard the new Michael Jackson album before the year 2030.

Believe it or not, but Michael Jackson used to famous for making music. Well, making music and turning into a car in films, but you get the idea. Our point is that Michael Jackson hasn't always been famous for being a Middle-East dwelling, Jesus Juice-swigging porn collector.

But over the years, the notoriety of Michael Jackson has overtaken his fame as a traditional entertainer. These days, Michael Jackson is more likely to be found schlepping around Bahrain shopping centres dressed as a woman or leaving Jew-hating messages on people's phones while thinking about how much giraffe blood he's collected than actually singing any songs.

When opportunities to sing do come along, they tend to be either batshit leftfield ideas like a CD of duets with the Pope, or otherwise Michael Jackson spuffs it all up by never actually making any music in the first place, like the non-existent Hurricane Katrina single that Jackson promised in September.

Now, though, it really looks as if Michael Jackson is going to record a brand-new album in Bahrain very soon, on a Bahrain-based record label, with Guy Holmes – chairman of Gut records – managing the production. The record label – Two Seas – has something to do with Abdulla Hamed Al-Khalifa, a member of the Bahrain royal family. According to a Two Seas statement, Michael Jackson says he is:

"incredibly excited… I am enjoying being back in the studio making music."

Somewhat predictably, the US spokeswoman of Michael Jackson, Raymone Bain, hadn't heard anything about a new album, and a deal still has to be made with a major label to distribute the record. But that's jumping the gun. Michael Jackson has to physically make an album's worth of music first.

We won't hold our breath.

Read more:

Jackson to make album in Bahrain – BBC

[story by Stuart Heritage]