Fairground-lacking pop recluse Michael Jackson has voiced his high-pitched anger at upscale lads mag GQ.

After battling kiddie-fiddling allegations last year – of which he was proven completely not guilty in every gleaming innocent way – Jacko has moved out to the Gulf state of Bahrain, where he has started a new life with his pet giraffes and jovial monkey butlers. Presumably.

Yet – despite this self-imposed exile – word has still reached Michael of a GQ feature that cheekily parodies him. The article – ‘Where’s Michael?’ – consists of a series of fake photographs, each featuring a Jacko impersonator and purporting to be snapshots of his travels around his new homeland.