Michael Jackson performing in London was meant to be the highlight of the summer.

Instead, we had to make do with Oasis splitting up. Which we were fine with, incidentally. Jackson was supposedly happy to play 50 dates at the O2, a feat that would test his physical and mental abilities.

That didn’t happen because, as you may have heard, Michael Jackson died. Still, as the trailer to for Michael Jackson’s This Is It movie shows, Michael was prancing all over the stage. Still, it doesn’t explain why he dropped down dead soon after.

To make up for the fact that Michael Jackson failed to make his London concerts – rumoured to involve live animals and singing children galore – we’ll soon get to see a Michael Jackson film cobbled together from rehearsal footage. Entitled This Is It, the film is meant to show the best of over 80 hours recorded in the weeks before his death. Below is the over-dramatic trailer…

The beginning of the This Is It trailer is amusing in itself for multiple reasons. Not only does it lead us to believe that Jack Bauer is going to jump through the floor and kill someone, but it doesn’t quite explain the dream that Michael Jackson wanted to share everyone. Was it a dream to build a 20-foot-high sandwich or a working house made from sand? We just don’t ruddy know. Perhaps he’ll tell us during the credits.

The film is also going to upset the Christians. At roughly 34 seconds in, there seems to be a moment where Michael pretends to be Jesus. Perhaps he wanted to see what it was like to be a carpenter, have multiple disciples follow him around or feel big rusty nails being driven in to his hands. It would have been an extreme way to end a gig. Most musicians are happy to smash up their rented instruments.

Worryingly, there does seem to be a small army of Michael Jackson fans who would have attended the gigs. Again during the trailer, you can see them marching around at the 45-second mark. Have they been trained by Michael to share love and warmth? Probably not – Joe Jackson possibly reprogrammed them to smack the audience around during Beat It, just so the audience could have the authentic Michael Jackson experience.

So on October 28, we’ll all finally get to see This Is It in full. However, it’s only going to be out for two weeks. So good is this unmissable event that the people in charge of bringing it to you want to make you miss it. We don’t doubt for a second that it’s because they want to release it on DVD with a host of tossy bonus features.

If you like watching people dance around for 90 minutes, then this carefully-selected and well-edited film is just for you. Don’t expect to see the human side of Michael Jackson, mind. Don’t for one moment think there’ll be a ten-minute scene where he has a poo after a bad Mexican meal.

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