If Michael Jackson ever lost Neverland, he'd be a broken shell of a man – or at least more broken and shelly than he is now, if that's even possible.

Luckily, though, we don't have to concern ourselves with that any more – Michael Jackson isn't going to lose Neverland any more.

Although it had been up for public auction next month, Michael Jackson has worked out a private agreement with an investment group to make sure that Neverland stays his. Bad luck everyone else – you'll just have to find another spooky dilapidated old ranch complete with its own nightmarish arrested-adolescent fairground and hard-to-remove, albeit legally-nonexistent, child abuse connotations to spend your money on.

Chances are if you're reading this, you're probably some sort of ghoulish millionaire interested equally in gaudy decor and inviting underage cancer sufferers round to get drunk on booze. And if that's the case, we've got some bad news for you.

Yes, we know that last month we told you that Neverland ranch was getting auctioned off next week because Michael Jackson defaulted on a property loan worth $24 million. And, yes, we know that the news got you quite excited and that in your head you'd probably already decided that your coffee table would look nice next to the creepy oxygen tent and that a new lick of paint would partially remove the unfounded sensation that Michael Jackson wanked off a lot of boys there. But we've got bad news.

Somehow, Michael Jackson has found the $24 million to save Neverland from being auctioned. The Los Angeles Times reports:

Michael Jackson reached an 11th-hour deal to refinance his troubled Neverland Ranch, his lawyer said Thursday, avoiding a public auction of the property that had been scheduled next week. Jackson attorney L. Londell McMillan told The Associated Press the pop star has worked out a "confidential" agreement with Fortress Investment Group LLC allowing him to retain ownership of the famed property in Los Olivos, Calif. "Neverland and MJ are fine," McMillan said.

And good for Michael Jackson – if Neverland was sold it'd probably be sold off as condos or turned into the world's least pleasant hotel resort, and the place has just got too much history for a sad ending like that. Who can forget, for instance, where Michael Jackson's staff all walked out because they hadn't been paid? Or the time when Michael Jackson was accused of treating his zoo animals with inhuman cruelty? Golden times, golden times. 

However, just because Michael Jackson has fended off the threat of public auction for now, don't think that he'll keep Neverland. He hasn't lived there since he was acquitted of molesting those children in 2005 and it's thought that he's now trying to sell it.

So maybe your dreams of owning a large property that you don't like to stay in because the creaking of the ferris wheel sounds like the tortured screams of the young can come true, after all!

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Michael Jackson will keep Neverland Ranch - LA Times