OK, let’s play a game – how long before Michael Jackson cancels his big comeback concerts in London?

Because, let’s face it, he will. Although Michael Jackson is supposedly going to announce a spectacular series of 30 comeback concerts at London’s O2 tomorrow, there can’t be anyone who’s actually expecting them to, you know, happen.

So what’ll it be? Will Michael Jackson ditch the concerts once he’s accepted the cheque? Will he pull out at the last possible second? Or will he perform the shows, regain his place in the pop elite and never look back? No, we’re just messing. He won’t.

It’s never been formally acknowledged, but judging by all the frantic behind-the-scenes machinations, it seems like Michael Jackson might be in a spot of financial bother. Hardly a week passes without Michael Jackson getting sued by someone, plus he’s had to sell his house and there’s a slight chance that he’s had to shell out for a load of medical bills because his lungs are like like tiny coconut husks and his face looks like a soggy coffee holder.

Plus, you know a man’s in trouble when he sells off his own robot head. So that means that Michael Jackson has had to accept that he’ll have to do something truly dramatic to get his life back in order. Something that’s as alien to him as finding a well-fitting snood or conversing with adults. In short, Michael Jackson is going to do some concerts.

Better yet, Michael Jackson is going to stage his giant comeback concerts in London, so he’ll get to do it surrounded by disagreeable weather and generally awful people. AP reports:

The King of Pop is due to meet the press at a London concert arena this week to announce the mother of all comebacks — a string of concerts that organizers hope will net the financially troubled star millions. Jackson flew into London by private jet Tuesday ahead of a “special announcement” Thursday afternoon at the city’s O2 Arena. It is widely expected he will announce a string of up to 30 dates.

But really? Is Michael Jackson really going to do these concerts? We can’t help thinking that he won’t. He’s got a history of making promises that never come through – like the time he was supposed to give a show-stopping performance of Thriller at the World Music Awards but then just ended up singing two lines of We Are The World with some kids and then going home. Or the Hurricane Katrina charity single that never materialised. And we’re still waiting for that album of duets with the Pope, thank you very much.

But, as the report said, the concerts could net Michael Jackson millions. And that’d be plenty to get him out of any financial pickle he may or may not be in.

Or, you know, he could spunk the lot on a giant golden vase shaped like a cherub riding a swan through a rainbow. Either one’s fine.

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