If anyone has a spare medal lying around, would they mind posting it to Debbie Rowe? That woman is a hero.
Why? Because she’s achieved the impossible. Debbie Rowe has taken the already-complex Michael Jackson custody case and made it so astoundingly convoluted that it’d literally take an army of rocket scientists 4,000 years to properly understand it. Although it’s widely expected that she’ll fight for custody of Michael Jackson’s kids, some emails suggest that Debbie Rowe absolutely doesn’t want anything to do with them.
Still, she’s making children feel vulnerable and scared – and that’s what Michael Jackson would have wanted.
Looking at the impending custody brawl over Michael Jackson’s children, it’s hard not to feel a little bit sorry for the kids. It doesn’t matter what the outcome is – their lives are bound to end up worse no matter who gets them. And bear in mind that they grew up living in a spooky dilapidated abandoned fairground with a terrifying ghoul-faced drug addict who enjoyed dangling them from high-rise balconies, so that’s really saying something.
At the moment the kids are being cared for by Michael Jackson’s parents, which would be fine were it not for their demented insistence on forcing the children to become an all-singing, all-dancing revue act. And then, if Michael Jackson gets his way from beyond the grave, the children might end up with Diana Ross – which, again, would be fine were it not for the fact that a) she’s Diana Ross and b) that literally makes no sense whatsoever.
But still, hope is on the horizon, because Debbie Rowe is here, and she looks as if she’s about to throw her hat into the ring. Yes, she might have once given up her right to ever see or speak to the children again in exchange for a big pile of money. And, yes, there’s a particularly strong chance that she isn’t even the biological mother of any of them. But Debbie Rowe loves the children and wants to raise them as best she can in a safe and secure environment. Isn’t that right, New York Daily News?
“Do I want the kids? Hell no! Does it look good for me to ask for them? Absolutely,” [Debbie Rowe] wrote July 5 to friend Rebecca White, ExtraTV.com reported. “I don’t want to look like the woman who gave away her kids.”
Wise move, Debbie Rowe – nobody wants to look like the woman who gave away her kids. It’s much, much better to look like the woman who ended up caring for a bunch of children she has absolutely no interest in whatsoever, and doesn’t even seem to like very much, just because she didn’t want to look like the woman who gave away her kids. You’ve picked the rational choice, Debbie. Anyone in your position would do the same thing.
But let’s not count our chickens straight away – the custody battle has only just begun, so nobody has any idea who the children will end up with. And Uri Geller‘s been keeping a suspiciously low profile of late, hasn’t he?
hobbo says
Hey Stuart Heritage, get another career clearly writing an article is not for you! get a hairdresser job at the mall that will fit you! your reasoning is crap and your writing is crapier!
Sara says
At least he can spell correctly, hobbo.
Max says
“they grew up living in a spooky dilapidated abandoned fairground with a terrifying ghoul-faced drug addict who enjoyed dangling them from high-rise balconies, so that
AG says
“Crapier”… “hobbo”… boy, I don’t visit often, but I’m always gratified by the high quality of the comments when I do. (I should probably just be impressed that s/he didn’t start with ‘first post’ or whatever.) Anyway, dropped in from Google News; nice summary of the never-ending train wreck this situation has become. Those poor kids…
Chief says
WHAT? I was just commenting to my colleague what I *wished* I could write with this “waaaaaaaaay UK” style! Hmmm … one of us is a bit “off.” I think it’s you. Congrats, Stu! Well done!
avlisk says
Nice touch, that Uri Geller kicker.
slongo says
Goodness,…vitriol much? Does Stuart owe you a significant amount of money? Are you perhaps a hobbo scorned? Take a deep breath and hold it for god sake.
Joe says
Why not Diana Ross? They were friends and she raised her own children well.
Bluejil says
Fantastic writing, genius. Loved the article and spot on.
Nard Dog says
That was some funny shit. You definitely should keep writing. I even forwarded the article to several friends. I laughed out loud when you wrote, “their lives are bound to end up worse no matter who gets them. And bear in mind that they grew up living in a spooky dilapidated abandoned fairground with a terrifying ghoul-faced drug addict who enjoyed dangling them from high-rise balconies, so that
WeeFree says
If you are to be believed no one is good enough to get the kids, except perhaps the State or even your clean, God loving and worthy self.
kk says
really? crapier?
Pgh Gurl says
Great article!
Brenda says
Well this is why news and journalism is now a joke. Stuart Heritage, okay I had to check out the name of the idiot that posted this. Worst it is in the news part of my google so worst is that some other idiot thought this was news. This sh*tty article of some morons opinion. Really was college necessary for this position Stu? Everything you have written seems to be your opinion and it is great that you have one I guess but really ask yourself…what was the point of this article? Was anything in there a fact at all?
You are what is wrong with reporters, news, and any media outlet. So we know that opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one but why not use some of those brains God gave you and write a real piece…not your interpretation of the daily sun. On the other hand, if you don’t take yourself serious and this is all a joke, I guess it is good you can do some creative writting…just try not to publish it as if you had something worth reading.
Nicole says
I think Stuart Heritage raising Michael Jackson’s children would make a spectacular reality show.
Well, or Stuart Heritage raising *anyone’s* children. But especially the Jackson Three.
pickle says
Whoever wrote this article about the dead child molester..good going. Your description of that no-talent deviant child-predator was spot-on. Anyone who hurts kids belongs in the ground. We all know he did the crimes, yet so many want to mourn this creep. I don’t get it…, the dude should have died 20 years sooner. Pickle
Trans-Mutant says
Dude! your “article” is garbage.
JoeMomma says
You know whats the best thing about this site. With every MJ article there’s new people:
saying the same thing,
the same (funny) lame comments,
the same complete lack of humor,
the same complete devotion to a no talent hack that they’ve never known,
the same turning a blind eye to truth…
I guess the one good part it, it keeps me from getting bored… and I can try new material. I personally liked my conversation about my Pastrami sammich, but thats another story…
Aladdin says
I think this article is crap.The media just wants you to believe what it believes to be true….picture this….MJ gets accused of child molestation first time.Settles out of court by paying millions of dollars because he thinks it will harm his image….Another guardian gets up and thinks hey this is a good time for me to make money as well because my kid visited MJ’s Neverland too.sues MJ…this time MJ takes it to court either cause he doesn’t have money or for publicity….gets acquitted..Now we should remember that the courts or the law never found him guilty…..Its like a woman accuses a guy of rape even though he hasn’t done anything…even if no charges are proved he will still carry that image of a guy who tried to rape a woman…same is with child molestation because its such a heinous crime…Now if someone kid goes and accuses our dear Mr. Stuart Heritage of child molestation,even if he’s proved innocent I’m sure he won’t be allowed to write an article on child affairs…what say???
GS says
I hope people just don’t confused this pice of $hit with actual journalism. This nobody is clearly just a dick…. or a frustated writer? or a scumbag that couldn’t find a better story to talk about?
Maybe all of them.
Gossip for grown ups?? yea sure. This site sucks
MJalltheway says
He got more talent than the barbarian Elvis, the beetles,your mother and father your hateful, jealous idiot. No one in world would ever be morned like MJ. Every M****f**ker belongs to ground don’t forget that fagget. Predator is those bastard kids with their barbarian money hungry parents who kills MJ. Take your raciest a** somewhere else before I call Ben Laden on your a**.
mst3kster says
Wow Stuart, some of these comments about you…
It’s like you’re the one that gave alcohol to kids and then molested them.
JoeMomma says
Do you people realize you have devoted yourselves to a media created pop celebrity that did not know you existed. Are you so deluded that one someone says “I love my fans” they really mean it?
Give me a break
Glodean says
Who the heck is this Stuart person? Some demented unemployed slacker? He really needs to get a life and stop writing lamer articles that are worthy of only being used for toilet paper.
Get a life and a jobm Stuart!
gilbert wham says
Barbarian Elvis is an awesome concept.
mst3kster says
Glodean, Stuart writes articles on a website. Do you really use your computer monitor to wipe your ass.
No wonder your post is shit.
Stephanie says
She must have ran out of money. Her kids do not even know who she is, why would she want them? Unless you’re young, naive and scared, how could you give up your kids for a fee. This woman was a grown ass woman who relinquish her maternal rights for a fee. Granted it was overturned, but had she tried to have contact with them. She herself have stated that they do not know who she is. People these kids were not put into an adoption program they were brought from the mother with money. What kind of love is that. At least they are being loved and seemed to enjoy where there are. They arrest people today for selling their children. At least I’ve read a couple of articles where they arrested parents for attempting to sell their kids on Ebay. Granted Joseph may not be the best person for them to be around. Katherine is fighting for custody. I don’t believe she will make the same mistake twice as she did with her boys back in the 60’s. Diana Ross’s children are all successful! Google them and see. I would have picked Janet over her though. He felt a need to allocate Diana and still not the mother.
SluttyBarbie says
What a shock!! Yet another pissant,snide,bitchy,whiny,shithead,pussy ass,shit for brains,cokehag,biased,RACIST,self-absorbed,privileged little bitch takes a final parting shot at Micheal way to go asshole. I guess cuntbags like him FORGET that in order to be a ‘smartass’ first you have to be s-m-a-r-t which rarely if EVER applies to those like this prick. And yeah the baby dangling was a bad idea but it only happened ONCE prick and I guess that trumps Ryan o’Neal and his ‘father of the year’ behavior like sticking a gun in his OWN SON’S face or the time he knocked his son’s teeth out. Or doing lines with his youngest and by that I don’t mean scripts I mean the kind on a mirror you seperate with a razor and of course it’s perfectly OK for Brittany to drive around drunk with her kids or high on lord knows what the fuck ever. Because she’s a once hot blond female and we ALL know they can do no wrong or the German model who left her baby outside in a BUSY cafe because ‘that’s how they do it in Europe’ newsflash slut THIS AIN’T EUROPE!! Nor should it be acceptable to leave your ‘baby’s momma’ 7 months BEFORE she gives birth but that’s ok Billy Crudup is a pretty white male so all’s forgiven speaking of which funny how EVERY time some hateful little shit talks about Micheal’s looks THEY themsleves are always ASS-UGLY and need plastic surgery more than a junkie needs a new fix. I can’t WAIT to see this shitwad’s shitty little post about the MANY fucked-up,weirdo,crackhead white celebrities when one of them dies but I probably shouldn’t hold my breath.
Sophia Tate says
This shouldn’t even be called an article, because just look at all the lies that are written here. Clearly the child who wrote this is a coldhearted racist. Get a life and get a JOB. And to the commenter called Pickle how DARE YOU SAY THAT HE SHOULD HAVE DID YEARS EARLIER. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU? ARE YOU REALLY STUPID ENOUGHT TO WISH THAT KIND OF FAITH UPON A LOVING HUMAN BEING WHO LOVED HIS 3 CHILDREN MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF. you should think before you say sothing so HEARTLESS and DEVILISH.