The world held its breath last night for Michael Jackson’s comeback performance at the World Music Awards. Was Michael Jackson really going to get it together enough to sing all of Thriller in front of an audience of one billion people?

What do you think? This is Michael Jackson we’re talking about – a man who’d probably have trouble making good on a promise to breath in an out. So, at last night’s World Music Awards in London, Michael Jackson didn’t give the reputation-repairing, attention-grabbing performance of Thriller that was promised. Instead, Michael Jackson – a man currently most famous for being accused of touching up boys in court – wheezed out a few half-hearted lines of We Are The World. Surrounded by children. We know; aside from him getting wasted on Jesus Juice and masturbating to porn in the middle eight, it’s hard to imagine how Michael Jackson could have ballsed his comeback up any more isn’t it?