What do Michael Jackson and STDs have in common? They are both annoying and won’t go away. No matter how much you itch, apply cream and shower. Oh, that might just be our crabs.

Genuinely, we thought Michael Jackson’s This Is It film would be the last from him. We’d get to laugh at the fake footage of him jumping from bridges, swinging from buildings and making fans believe he wasn’t drugged up and close to being in a coma. Now we’ve heard word that Michael Jackson is making a technical comeback with this year’s X Factor monkeys. All for charity of course. Like that helps.

There are a few details to get out the way. Firstly, the song that has been chosen is Michael Jackson’s You Are Not Alone. Ideally, all of the acts are meant to take it in turn to carefully reinterpret the timeless classic. Otherwise Joe Jackson will be on hand with his motivational tool, called the ‘encouragement belt’. However, we know that John and Edward will totally make it their own and out-do every other act there.

Is the choice of song down to the simple fact that X Factor bosses want to pay tribute to Michael Jackson? After all, before he died it was rumoured that the legend was due to moonwalk his way around the stage and tell all the contestants they were beautiful and special inside. Or, as we think, is someone just having a big massive laugh at his expense? Let’s look at the evidence.

The money raised by the X Factor single is going to Great Ormond Street. Don’t get us wrong, we’re all for charity as hospitals help people get better so they can do productive stuff with their lives. However, for anyone who doesn’t know, Great Ormond Street is a charity for sick children. Anyone spot the slight irony?

Whether Michael Jackson was guilty or not, it seems unfair that an American singer who was accused of child molestation should be allowed to have the charity honours with the English X Factor finalists. After all, the UK has got plenty of its own. Why couldn’t they have done a version of Gary Glitter’s I Love You Love Me produced by Jonathan King instead, huh? Don’t be afraid of your Britishness, X Factor! Heatworld reports:

“The 12 finalists have covered the Michael Jackson classic You Are Not Alone, and they’ll be performing the song during the results show on Sunday 15 November, when the track will also be available for download.”

There we are then. A guaranteed charity X Factor number one to quite likely stay at the top spot until John and Edward get the Christmas number one with their winning X Factor performance.

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