Now that Michael Jackson seems to have realised that nobody will ever buy any of his records again – even though he legally doesn't wank off teenage cancer victims – he needs to find a new set of pursuits to pass the time.
And when you're as famous as Michael Jackson, new pursuits are fairly hard to come by. Once you've danced with giant plasticine rabbits, chugged pints of Jesus Juice and dangled babies off balconies, the only hobby that's really left for you is to mooch around giving surprisingly bitter sworn depositions about how friends of your brother tried to swindle you out of your fortune as part of larger federal case about the state of your finances. Fans of vaguely offensive talk about schmucks, sharks, people from Indiana and Jews are advised to probably keep reading.
Money is something that's obviously very important to Michael Jackson. It's money that helped Michael Jackson buy Eminem's song catalogue, money that paid for an entire man-made island, money that allowed Michael Jackson to buy a swimming pool and fill it with giraffe blood and money that lets Michael Jackson dress up like the most stylish lady in the Middle East.
But what's the deal with Michael Jackson's money? Michael didn't see a penny of proceeds from the recent auction of Jackson crap, he keeps being sued by people like his vet and his ex-wife and there's only so much money you can make from shaking Japanese people's hands, so it's clear that Michael Jackson still has a bit of cash rattling around. But that's only because he claims he somehow stopped a friend of his brother from swindling it all out of him during his child molestation trial.
Later this week, a civil case is set to begin against Michael Jackson thanks to a finance company that says he cheated them out of $48 million. And in preparation for that, Michael Jackson gave a sworn deposition in Paris last year, details of which have been obtained by the New York Daily News. And that's where Michael Jackson ranting furiously about people trying to rip him off comes in:
The seven hours of transcripts obtained by the Daily News reveal that the agitated entertainer was convinced his money woes were fuelled by a cadre of disloyal advisers who stole from him while he was busy fighting criminal charges. The Gloved One even fingered a man close to his older brother Randy as a key villain. It was an ordeal that left Jackson bitter about the industry in which he's spent his entire life. "It's full of sharks, charlatans and imposters… Because there's a lot of money involved, there's a bunch of schmucks in there," Jackson said. "It's the entertainment world, full of thieves and crooks. That's not new. Everybody knows that."
The 'key villain' mentioned is Randy Jackson's friend Don Stabler, a man who initially reminded Michael Jackson of "people that live in mid-America like Indiana," before attempting to pressure him to sign off on a multi-million dollar financing deal and then apparently telling him:
"What's the problem? You're not down, you're with the Jews now. You're not down with blacks anymore."
Eventually, Michael Jackson claims that the only thing that stopped him succumbing to Don Stabler's demands was the intervention of Jesse Jackson and one of Bill Clinton's friends. But that's beside the point – first Jermaine Jackson writes a naughty book about Michael Jackson and now Randy Jackson gets a dodgy advisor involved in Michael's finances? With a family like this, we'd be scared shitless that Marlon Jackson was going to steal our internal organs while we slept at night if we were Michael,.
Read more:
Singer Says His Brother And Pal Tried To Cheat Him Out Of Fortune – NY Daily News
William says
Stuart…
Michael Jackson has topped a poll of artists whose fans will purchase all the new albums they release. PopScores, a monthly quantitative measurement of the emotional connection between artists and consumers, shows that 82 per cent of Jackson’s fans are ready to buy the new material he releases. – – So dont so all this crap like you KNOW everything… Also, the giraffe blood thing has BEEN CONFIRMED a RUMOR! Michael lawyers have also settled the 48 mil lawsuit*
And you know those accusers are BROKE POOR… Michael was nothing but a target to get money out of him. Both accusers didn’t want to testify. The 2003 accuser kept changing his story. If this was all true,, he could tell the story straight with no problem. It’s also odd to have a mom trying to get money out of JCPENNEY. Watch this VID.. don’t you find the dad (of 1993 accuser) suspicious?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2V5bDIlUFI
Sheila says
You’re full of shit.
Alissa says
How can you??
why??
what you are saying is wrong and utterly hurtful to so many people.
its people like you that we all hate. people who pinup good people, as bad people.. just to get attention and feel good about
yourself.. rest assured we all hate you and think your an idiot looking for attention :|
MJcool says
This ARTICLE is Bullshit,and you have no idea what the f**k you are talking about.so why dont you go f**k yourself and
leave michael jackson Alone.. ya Moron..
ps: i for one will be buying michael’s music and so will millions upon millions of other people too..
liamn says
we should be supporting michael jackson… he is the reason why music is the way it is today… i havent seen u sell 50 million records lately stuart… Stuart Heritage has no right to critiscise this man who has made so many ppl happy withall his wonderfull music.
Andie says
That was very rude. You don’t have to be so mean to Michael like that. He’s done nothing to you. He is trying to live his life without anyone interfering with it and saying such nasty things about him when they don’t even know him.
Shove that Michael Jackson hatred and jealousy where the sun doesn’t shine, snotty.
Mithaearon says
Lol god bless you Michael Jackson fans/supporters. Your comments were almost as funny as the main articles.
euclid says
People, people…
Clearly MJ is an unwell person.
It is wonderful that he made music that many people enjoy.
But he has SERIOUS problems. You do not help him
or yourselves by pretending that he is a victim or that he
is would really be just fine if everyone left him alone.
Reality trumps, people. What is is. MJ is unwell
and his story is likely to become even more lurid and unhappy
as time progresses. This is what happens when you take
someone 4 years old, make them a star and then expect them
to behave normally. Nothing in his life has ever been normal,
and we, the consumers of his music, his ardent fans are to blame.
If you don’t like what is happening to MJ write him a check
and take a look in the mirror because he IS a monster
and we made him. Cheers.
Rikke says
You know, Michael has the most loyal fans in the world!
We are all ready to support him, and this ridiculous article
is not going to chance anything…..
I hope Michael forgive you, because i won’t!
Amanda says
I for one will be buying Michael’s new material. Leave him alone.
wendy says
This article should not even be published.. check your facts, this is untrue garbage.. and yes many polls have shown that many people still buy his albums, every album he has ever released has gone to number one in almost every country in which it was released, its only here in the US that people are such morons and let the media dictate their opinions, because they are too ignorant to think for themselves or seek out the truth, you only think he is unwell becuase you believe the lies you hear, find out the truth and your thoughts will change
Jill from Western Australia says
As far as I am concerned MJ is finished as a Rock Star, a parent and a credible person. If you have any money left {doubtfull} then give it to charity…then crawl into a hole, but let your children be brought up to be responsible people….by someone with more morals than you have, the Children’s services should take away your rights…dangling a child from a balcony {even if it was meant to be in fun} is DISGUSTING!!! My daughter gave birth to her full term baby Jake…he was STILLBORN…you have 3 kids…I wonder if you are their biological father….personally I think that the only thing that your “willy” has been in is LITTLE CHILDREN! I THINK YOU ARE DESPICABLE!!!!!
Brock Foster, Coweta oklahoma says
leave michael alone, we all love him and will buy his music, and we want bubbles back also for the next album.
Cyberian says
Wow, Jill from W. Aust…you have some sort of ‘inside knowledge’ superior to that of the judge, jury, witnesses, and attorneys regarding where MJ’s ‘willy’ has been? I think thou dost protest too much! Perhaps authorities should investigate how YOUR children were raised, because it sounds like you’re ‘projecting’ to me… Jackson is undoubtedly F’d up a bit, but no more than the mainstream populace. The only difference is the microscopic scrutiny the media whores keep him under. The baby dangling incident was poor judgment, nothing more. The same poor judgment YOU displayed by your despicable, spiteful, and otherwise meaningless post.
And Mith, your condecension, (based on what, exactly, is beyond knowing) is even MORE amusing than the spurious article itself. Most amusing is that you felt compelled to even post such a trivial thought.
As for Euclid, no you moron, WE didn’t create MJ, his father Joe created him, AND the demons that plague him. Stop trying to come off as possessing superior understanding when, in fact, you don’t even have a basic understanding from whence Jackson came. Maybe you have him confused in your mind with Donny Osmond, eh? I mean, they DO look a lot alike!
Brad says
Hell yeah i’ll be buying the new album! I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Katerina says
All I’ve got to say is that I really adore Michael Jackson and will buy any material that he brings out.
Sami says
Thank you, Hecklerspray, for the most amusing article on Michael Jackson I’ve read in a while. He truly is a media tragedy. It’s ridiculous, I can’t quite get over how much he’s screwed himself over these past decades. Either way, you have my support – keep doing what you’re doing. It works.
MJFOREVER says
Ill definitely buy anything mj releases regardless of what anyone says about him…I love him to death!!