Michael Jackson is a man with more reported health problems then the entire readership of hecklerspray.
Sorry, our mistake. Michael Jackson is a man with the mind of a child who's had to go to hospital when the occasional sniffle, scrape and cut has happened.
Instead, of visiting the doctor to have his eggy farts looked at, Michael Jackson has instead gone in for plenty of unnecessary surgery. Over the years, we've seen plenty of adjustments to his nose and skin colour. And it's not because we've become colour blind. It really looks like someone painted him white one night as a practical joke. Reports circulated that Jacko had developed skin cancer as a result of constant surgery. Now we've been told it's a lie.
Because Michael Jackson used to be black and then all of a sudden became a white man. We feel that there is a black man physically trapped underneath his white skinned wrapping paper exterior. If he picks away at his knuckles, he?ll be able to peel away his now yellowing skin and bring back the black.
The accusations of having skin cancer isn't what Jackson needs, especially when he's due to start a residency at London?s O2 Arena. Fifty shows have been booked for the king of pop to show us he still has a bit of talent left. We won't be impressed though if he performs Earth Song in a mobility scooter, or the entire show in the dark in order to conserve energy for future generations.
What should be more of a concern, even more so than getting extra strong tape to make his nose doesn't drop off, is the threat of not even playing one gig. New Jersey-based AllGood Entertainment Inc claims that Michael Jackson is their entertainment bitch. An agreement was supposedly signed so he had to play an exclusive gig with other wacko family members Janet and the other less popular Jackson?s who made up the Jackson 5. Until that problem is bought off by his legal team, we may never see him in merry old England.
Of course, any rumours of Jackson suffering through any sort of illness due to silly amounts of surgery have been laughed at by his money sucking assistants. They even got a doctor to confirm it and make sure that some nasty people were spreading lies. The Guardian have Dr Tohme quoted as saying:
“He’s in perfect health,”
And we all know that newspapers never ever print lies. Everything that's published in them is genuine fact. Of course, if a nasty fib ever slips itself in to a story, a kitten gets blasted in the head. Anyway, The Guardian went on to say:
Jackson had reportedly been visiting a dermatologist in Beverly Hills and would likely be treated by Santa Monica-based cancer surgeon Dr Ralph Massey. He’s insisted that any treatment must fit around the concerts, and the show will go on.
If this is one giant lie and Jackson actually does have some sort of crippling skin cancer, he can use it to his advantage. On the very last night of his tour, he could literally rip chunks off his body and toss in to the audience during the encore of Thriller.
Think about it, owning a literal piece of Michael Jackson is better than some badly printed ?35 t-shirt.
You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!
halo3v says
The real “Thriller” for these shows will be when MJ tries to moonwalk and and grab his crotch, he will instead lose his nose and when he tries to pick it up, the “gloved” hand will fall off.
What fun!! I can’t wait!!!
Amy says
Oh my god, what you said just there in that rediculously retarded article is so out of order!!! How can anyone be so insensitive to someone who had a skin condition and then further take the p*ss out of him for various other reasons?? Have you never thought ‘I wish I was someone else’? Or ‘I wish I could change this feature of myself’?? Because I have, and I bet that there are so many people who have read this idiotic article and thought it was amusing. Amusic? You’re all sick. In fact I hope you end up have some sort of condition that mutilates and deforms you so you end up having to have plastic surgery. Leave Michael Jackson alone, yeah, he’s done nothing wrong.
Sherrie says
Are you happy now??? The poor thing has died and people like you were writing rude articles like this before he passed away. I will leave you and your rude comments to go ahead and pick his dead bones dry for some part of him to amuse yourself! I hope people like you rot in hell!
x says
Disgusting article. D I S G U S T I N G. Who does this matthew think he is to write an article like this. MJ is an artist. Write about his work. That would be too difficult wouldnt it. Because then there wouldnt be left anything negative to say. If they only read what you write if you write disgusting and negative articles, then you should think about choosing another profession. Coz its only internetpollution.