Here at hecklerspray we’d be the first to admit that we aren’t the gentlest of souls.
Most news is greeted with a giggle and sarcastic comment littered with enough arbitrary meanness to book a first class seat on a train ride straight to hell. We can’t help it, it’s who we are. But it’d take a really cold hearted so and so to take anything positive out of this.
Michael Douglas hasn’t had the best of times recently. Cameron, his eldest child from his first marriage, was sentenced to five years in prison for possessing heroin and dealing methamphetamine and cocaine out of a New York hotel room. Douglas later said he was thrilled that his son was locked up which, to be honest, is a weird reaction to have but he did say he was a bad father and is responsible for Cameron having more drugs flowing through his veins than Pete Doherty‘s gums and Amy Winehouse‘s beehive combined. That’s a lot of drugs.
On the upside, Douglas has reprised his most famous role in Oliver Stone‘s long and boring sequel Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps that has left many wondering if he could win two Oscars for the same role. Then again he does star opposite Shia LeBouf and that kid can make anyone look good. Seriously, how can someone so rubbish be so successful? He’s like the human equivalent of Cheryl Cole.
Anyway, Michael Douglas is back in the news because his people have confirmed to People that he has a tumour in his throat. He’ll under go eight weeks of radiation and chemotherapy and in the statement he simply said:
“I am very optimistic.”
It’s noticeable that no-one has thrown around the C-word or mentioned that Douglas is a seasoned smoker of many decades, but we’re not accusing him of being responsible for getting this nasty growth. We wish him all the best and hope that he and his wife will remind all us peons that $1 million is like a 5 pence piece rattling around the bottom of his car.
Oh, we didn’t mean that C-word. What the hell is wrong with you?
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