Well, Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest's luck had to run out at some point – it's been replaced at the top of the US weekend box office chart by glum old Michael Mann's Miami Vice.
And Miami Vice was probably the only movie that could have possibly beat Pirates Of The Caribbean at the weekend box office, since only Miami Vice appeals to the public's fondness for movies that notice the Vice City-led craze for 1980's Miami, then set it in the present day, stretch it out to two and a half hours, cast two preening fools and a Chinese woman who can't really do a Cuban accent it it and then kick every last trace of fun out of proceedings until everyone gets weirdly nostalgic for Captain Jack Sparrow.
Miami Vice - the top film in the US weekend box office this week – had something of a 'troubled' production, which is what you'd expect from a borderline psychotic director making a film based on a TV show that people only ironically liked with the star of an internet sex tape and the bloke responsible for one of the worst albums we've heard in a long time, really. It remains to be seen if Miami Vice is called a box office disappointment or not, though, although it probably does deserve its spot between Patch Adams and Tomorrow Never Dies in the all-time opening weekend box office chart. Here's this week's US weekend box office top five:
1 - Miami Vice (Your time on this Earth is limited, so which would you rather do; spend two and a half hours watching Colin Farrell pout around on a speedboat or giggling at the fact that the book Colin Farrell: A Dark, Twisted Puppy now has a musical companion in Colin Farrell Is My Bitch? Yeah, us too) $25,195,000
2 - Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (Now that Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest's weekend box office star is fading, it's time to look forward to next year's third sequel – Pirates Of The Caribbean: Wringing Every Last Coin From Your Bank Account) $20,492,000
3 – John Tucker Must Die (A film where forgotten R&B star Ashanti teams up with menstrual blood-dripping Jenny McCarthy to make the boy with the robot eyebrows from Desperate Housewives look a bit silly in front of some other girls, only about 15,000% less interesting than we've made it sound) $14,075,000
4 - Monster House (Along with The Polar Express, this is the second film to be made with Real D Digital 3D animation, confirming hopes that one day all actors will be replaced by pudgy, frangipane-skinned, creepy-looking unreal characters. Even more so than usual, anyway) $11,500,000
5 - The Ant Bully (Almost identical to Jean Claude Vannier's L'Enfant Assassin Des Mouches, but with more Julia Roberts and Nicolas Cage being all funny and less freakishly nightmarish sound collages that stopped us sleeping for a week) $8,145,000
Read more:
Weekend Box Office – Box Office Mojo
[story by Stuart Heritage]
