M.I.A Has A Baby, Which Is Apparently News
You know how M.I.A has been heavily pregnant for the last few months? You’ll never guess what’s happened.
M.I.A’s only gone and had a baby. We know! Who knew that babies came out at the end of pregnancies? Not us, that’s for sure – we were convinced that women either gave birth to unicorns or life-sized marble statues of Italo-American physicist Ugo Fano but, no, apparently it’s babies.
What’s more, M.I.A has blogged about her baby and – get this – it appears as if she actually quite likes him! Wow, that M.I.A, huh? No wonder she’s so blinking controversial. Whatever next!
For what’s essentially an 18-hour smugathon, the Grammys were a hotbed of news last week. Whether it was Chris Brown cancelling because he might have thumped Rihanna around a bit, or Usher cancelling because his wife had some botched plastic surgery, or The Jonas Brothers being the very worst people to ever pick up musical instruments in the history of mankind, for a short amount of time the Grammys were the centre of the world.
And the Grammy news still isn’t done, thanks to M.I.A’s decision to join in the all-star rapalong to Swagga Like Us on the exact day that she was due to give birth to her son. It added a frisson of excitement to a performance that would have otherwise just contained a load of blokes shouting about themselves – would M.I.A have to call off the performance? Would her water break onstage? Would her placenta plap out onto the floor, and then would Kanye West accidentally tread on it and go skidding around the stage all out of control like a granny on a unicycle?
Well, no. No on all counts. In the end, M.I.A didn’t give birth to her baby until the following Wednesday, but – as she wrote on her MySpace blog, the Grammys did seem to spark off some sort of labour issues for her:
SUNDAY NITE I CA M E HOME FROM THE GRAMMY’S STILL IN THE MOOD TO PARTY , I COUDA EASILY GONE OUT BUT I WENT HOME INSEAD , LUCKY I DID!! COZ MY EARLY STAGE LABOUR KICKED IN AROUND 2 AM . MY BABY WAS BORN WEDNESDAY , HE IS HEALTHY , FINE , BEAUTIFUL AND THE MOST AMZING THING EVER ON THIS PLANET, OF COURSE IM HIS MUM!!! AND MY BABY BOY SAYZ HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We’d like to extend our congratulations to M.I.A and the new baby – also, MIA, based on your blogging skills, if this whole ‘being a critically acclaimed counter-cultural multi-media artist and provocateur’ thing doesn’t work out for you, you’d make quite a decent hecklerspray commenter. Give it some thought.
