Shocking news shockingly emerged to shock the world when it was revealed Megan Fox brutally snubbed a fan offering her a rose the other day.
While most of the shock was reserved for the fan himself, who looked like the 80s had truly never ended, some people reserved their shockedness for the one in the tight jeans from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
For you see, it is expected of movie stars to brave the crowds, to listen to their fans and to not (shockingly) ignore the offer of a yellow rose from someone who probably masturbates over pictures of you.
In true pansy-assed movie star fashion, Megan Fox did go on to apologise for the furore she caused and the shame she brought about on her biggest fan for the simple act of turning down his perennial flower shrub.
That’s his rose, by the way, and not any kind of witty euphemism.
And by “his rose” we mean ‘the flower he offered her’. You people have filthy minds.
“I did not know that was a child.”
Though she did go on to say more things that were nicer, even if it did look like she was dying a little inside by being forced to apologise for the mere fact that she hates odd-looking people and their stupid offers of shitty little flowers:
“I feel so sad for him. That’s so terrible. That kills me. There were, like, 80 million people everywhere. It’s dark, all I see are flashes. Everyone’s yelling different things and I didn’t know that was happening.”
Not content with shockingly (brutally) snubbing her biggest fan, it would appear Megan Fox now believes 80 million people show up to see her? Talk about ego…
Fox McCloud then managed to force these words out through some of the deadest eyes ever seen by man:
“If you know his name, I will send him a personal apology. I’m horrified. I would never do that. I’m sorry, sweet boy. I would never do that to you, and I would gladly accept your rose if I see you again.”
We’d wager ‘sweet boy’, as he is now known, is preparing an extra special rose just for the Foxy one with crap tattoos. Extra special.
Our biggest bucket of scorn for the day, however, has to be poured on the interviewer, who used the word “cyberspace”.