Megan Fox Drinks Vinegar, Takes Her Top Off and Pretends to be a Lesbian

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megan fox lesbian nudity topless transformers 2 michael bay shia labeouf car crash vinegar dodgy dietGoing directly against the orders of Michael Bay, Megan Fox seems to be doing exactly the opposite to piling on some poundage.

Whereas the explosion-loving director ordered every young boy in the world’s wet dream to put some weight on for Transformers 2, the actress has revealed that she instead decides to clean herself out with vinegar.

No, we have no idea either.

But, reports have flooded in on all the websites you would hope to print them – namely the ones aimed at already-image-conscious young teenage girls, who are now likely to think that drinking vinegar is a viable dieting option. What a great example these Hollywood types set each and every day.

First Megan Fox decided to ruin the underwear of millions of men and boys around the world with the news she was going to lez off in her upcoming movie Jennifer’s Body. Then, as if the news of a “hot” and “hardcore” lesbian scene weren’t enough, it was revealed she would be doing some topless stuff too.

That girl really knows how to ruin lives, that’s for sure.

After destroying millions of male psyches with the news of her lesbo-nudity, the sexiest woman in the world has turned her attention on the female populace. While she isn’t going for the same technique of making lonely young men/slightly pervy older men masturbate themselves into oblivion, she is still trying to ruin lives through the power of her actions alone.

And while Michael Bay wants her to be a fatty fighting the good fight alongside Shia LaBeouf, the Fox isn’t having any of it. Confessing to something of a ‘sweet tooth’ – which, in Hollywood language probably means she eats some things sometimes – she who likes to ruin your day by appearing in some suggestive poses on a normally decent website (usually when you’re innocently looking for celebrity news) has decided she will drink vinegar to help her keep in shape.

Speaking to someone who was apparently writing this stuff down – or recording it – the bushy-tailed one said:

“”It’s just water and raw apple cider vinegar, and it just cleans out your system entirely. It will get rid of, for women who retain water weight, from your menstrual cycle and all that, it gets rid of it really fast (sic). I’m not one for dieting or exercising, ’cause I’m lazy and I have a really big sweet tooth, so I have to do cleanses every once in a while ’cause of the amount of sugar I take in.””

That just happens to sound utterly disgusting in every way shape and form – even the wording of the sentences brings up the bile. But it would seem the (possibly) evil Megan Fox doesn’t care how much bile we bring up, and she wants to ruin the health of teenage girls around the world (maybe), who are sure to copy her (possibly) in their never-ending quest to look like all the people they see in the magazines.

Just like all the boys want to copy Shia LaBeouf and crash their cars, thus messing up their hands.

We would go on to say something about how the Fox needs some (La)beef in her diet, but even hecklerspray isn’t that cheap. Even if we are struggling with a slow news day, and are resorting to the Charlie Brooker-approved ‘fit as many dodgy keywords into an article as you can’ technique. Professionalism right there, baby.

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Comments

  1. Rabbit says

    Ian Dransfield, could you be any more of moron? You state that you do not want Megan Fox to “ruin the health of teenage girls around the world (maybe), who are sure to copy her (possibly) in their never-ending quest to look like all the people they see in the magazines”. However, earlier in the same article you state that Michael Bay “wants her to be a fatty fighting the good fight alongside Shia LaBeouf”. You pigeon-brained, condescending, overblown, egotized jackass! You both support and condemn her in the same article. Bay simply wants Fox to be at a healthier looking weight than what she currently is. Rather than be a “lollipop” he wants her to gain some curves most likely.
    Now, get your act together or don’t deign to speak on something you know nothing about. Apple Cider Vinegar tablets are sold nationwide as a dietary program. They don’t sell that well because the damn things give you heartburn like you would not believe! The mixture Ms. Fox is talking of is actually a mixture of honey, ac vinegar, and water. It IS truly disgusting and it will purge the system in one way or another. Either it makes you too sick to want to eat anything by increasing the bile in your stomach (acid added to acid) or your stomach is so weirded out that nothing stays down. To the last every woman in our office who has tried that mix (and there are over 600 here) has given it up because it is truly noxious. All the girl is going ot do is give herself an ulcer with that mix.

  2. stinkyfinger says

    Personally I prefer Malt Vinegar as a drink, I mix it with some salt a little ketchup and some chips, and take it as often as possible. Bastard thing is it just doesnt seem to be helping me lose weight….work that out.

  3. Tai says

    Oh Brother! Another Anorexic in the making!! Just admit it Megan, you’re insecure, get over yourself already!!!

  4. Steveo says

    Vinegar – Great way to remove the enamel from your teeth, but I’m sure Ms. Fox’s teeth are all fake anyhow.

  5. says

    The article was ridiculously stupid. The content is retarded and the writer sucks. But I guess then I read it and am now commenting so I must be pretty stupid myself just like all of the idiot douche bags that did as well. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!

  6. Daniel says

    If I didn’t know better, I would swear I read this article in some trashy supermarket tabloid. This was supposed to be worth reading? I fully realize that no one forced me to sit and go through this entire article, but I seriously want my 3 minutes back. The title should be revised to something more accurate, such as, “Let’s See How Much I Can Pad My Self Esteem by Making ‘Witty’ Jokes (Megan Fox).” You should not lose any sleep though. I’m sure everyone found you hilarious and intelligent.

  7. meinpa says

    stinkyfinger Says:

    August 21st, 2008 at 5:31 pm
    Personally I prefer Malt Vinegar as a drink, I mix it with some salt a little ketchup and some chips, and take it as often as possible. Bastard thing is it just doesnt seem to be helping me lose weight….work that out.

    Perhaps it’s the ketchup and chips that you are mixing it with.

  8. Kstar says

    I too drink it on a regular basis! This site needs to get their facts straight before bashing the poor girl. It’s not white sterile vinager-or that she’s pounding vinegar, it’s RAW apple cider vinegar(probably BRAGGS) and you only use 2 tsp per glass! Raw apple cider vinegar is so good for you on so many levels….I wish people would get their facts straight!!!

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