When you go and see The White Stripes live you know that you'll witness the absolute pinnacle of music made by a man shrieking like Zorro on helium and a woman hitting a drum like a petulant toddler.
But you won't be seeing The White Stripes live any time soon, especially if you live in America. That's because The White Stripes have cancelled their forthcoming 18-date US tour, and that's because drummer Meg White is suffering from acute anxiety and is apparently too frightened to even travel. Silly White Stripes – they didn't have to cancel an entire tour just because Meg White is anxious; after all, everyone who's ever seen a single episode of The A-Team knows that the best cure for travel-based anxiety is either drugged milk or a sneaky bop on the back of head.
We shouldn't judge Meg White for suddenly coming down with such a bad case of anxiety that The White Stripes have needed to cancel an entire 18-date American tour, you know. After all, forgetting the gigantic material gain that being in a band the size of The White Stripes has earnt her, performing night after night in front of thousands of screaming fans and simultaneously trying to remember if the next song is the one that goes "boom BANG boom BANG boom BANG" or "BOOM bang BOOM bang BOOM bang" must play on the nerves a little bit.
But even having the easiest job in rock after the man who keeps Keane's sherry glasses topped up can't stop Meg White from feeling the stress of modern living. Maybe it's the stress of pretending to share genes with Jack White all day or the creeping dread that comes from knowing a lengthy marimba solo could come at any minute but, whatever the reason for Meg White's anxiety, The White Stripes have pulled their entire forthcoming US tour, as the LA Times reports:
The White Stripes have canceled their tour… The enigmatic Detroit duo of singer and guitarist Jack White and drummer Meg White posted a message Tuesday on their official website citing health issues. "Meg White is suffering from acute anxiety and is unable to travel at this time," the short dispatch stated. It also included an apology to fans. "We hate to let people down and are very sorry."
Still, it's not all bad news – at least now the tour has been cancelled Jack White can return to some of his favourite extra-curricular activities, like getting women pregnant and throwing gigantic tantrums because radio stations play his songs. Meanwhile Meg White can… um… what is it that Meg White actually does again?
But it's you poor Americans who we feel for the most – first Lily Allen cancels her tour because she punched a photographer, then Amy Winehouse cancels her tour because she took enough drugs to almost die and now The White Stripes have cancelled their tour because the drummer's a bit poorly in the head. But you Americans can relax, because Britain is cobbling together an aid package to see you right – James Blunt is on the way. Seriously, you can thank us later.
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SS says
The insensitivity of your article demonstrates your complete lack of humanity. Perhaps you have never experienced acute anxiety or known anyone who has,
because if you had, it might have moved you to refrain from passing judgement on someone else’s suffering, no matter their priveleged
lifestyle or occupation. I’d rather be disappointed by the White Stripes than pay to listen to that whining, ear-bleeding loser, James Blunt.
Rebekah says
..working in mental health myself, i agree that this is a very harsh, insensitive article. many people suffer from acute anxiety, I have had some experience with it myself.
the difference is witht he general public it is not in the newpapers and tabloids but nurses, teachers, bankers, truck drivers – many walks of life are affected by this and it
can interfere with your job, family and what you love to do. Meg is probably devastated by letting down the fans, unfortunately her anxiety has now interfered with her work.
I wish her well and look forward to hearing their unique, moving music very soon!
Chant says
Well this seems like a perfect opportunity for Jack White to hire himself a real drummer, not some dead-eyed girl who can’t keep a steady beat, play a fill, or seem the least bit interested that she makes Linda McCartney look like Prince by comparison.
Kelly says
“White Stripes”…”the absolute pinnacle of music”?
Now THAT’S funny and sad at the same time.
Kes says
You disgust me. Make fun of people for their stupidity, but not for something like this. This is not her fault.
Rumptious says
Ah Stuart. You are a tonic. I raise my glass to you.
hans says
ok look ,lily allen-lame,amy winehouse-lamer -who the fuck was amy winehouse before she up with the DAP-TONES anyway? (not much)-,james blunt (wow,do people really listen to that ?)lamest,,,i know i know the brits have been ripping off american music- black and white-,well forever and i know you want to prop up that crap. but don’t rip the stipes, the women is sick- jerk bait.
the stipes are just a couple of Midwest Crackers banging out the poppinblues,no more no less.so go ahead prop that crap up all day and diss the americans , but remember you cant polish a turd . and we saved your twice and beat your ass twice and our music is ours- youre kind is just posing
[-yours truly jerk,some people that know music
-the Juilliard School NYC, USA
Adam Gade says
Hans are you for real? Go piss off a janitor at that “Juilliard” school so he gives you a swirlie. Come to think of it, you kinda signed off there at the end-“yours truly jerk”- like the lovely Ms. Lee Ryan.
Troy says
Your article only really tells us one thing – you’ve never been a musician playing on tour.
Gilbert Wham says
Traditionally, ‘anxiety’ is code for ‘enormous, uncontrollable drug habit’, no? Which quite clearly is her fault. I quite like ’em when they’re being a pub-rock blues band. Anyone who bashes out a Blind Willie McTell tune now & again is alright by me. Their last album was total shit though. Especially the bagpipe number. Fuck, but I hate the bagpipes.
Grunties says
SS, Rebekah: I’ve had acute anxiety. And it was *damned* acute, verging on a breakdown according to my GP. I was Fluvoxamined up to the eyeballs and still like it.
Troy: I’ve been a touring musician.
They happened at the same time. You know what I did? I pulled myself together. I decided to shrug off other people’s bullshit and I did. I decided I didn’t want to wallow in self-pity, allowing myself to be coddled by a society full of people like you, people that want to releive me of my accountability to make themselves feel charitable. I just decided, and did it. No fuss, no muss. The mind has the ability to heal itself, you just need to stop paying attention to the people telling that it’s OK that it’s broken. It’s exactly the same with addiction. 40/50 fags a day for around 15 years, decided I should quit for my health about 8/9 years back. I couldn’t, because I didn’t really want to. Same again for reasons of bank balance. Physical dependancy my arse, I just wanted the fag in my hand more than I wanted to be healthy and/or better off financially. Five years ago myself and the wife had our first child, and that’s what it took for me to actaully want to be a non-smoker. I stopped. Overnight, no patches, no pills, no ‘just one last one’. Did I want to get rid of the withdrawal symptoms? Yep. Did I want to be a non-smoker? Yep. For the first time, I wanted the latter *more*, so when I got withdrawal I changed the subject in my head and sat it out. Sometimes I couldn’t take my mind off it, so I just sat it out for longer. No. Big. Deal. You have withdrawal and non-smoker in one hand and no withdrawal and smoker in the other. Choose. Don’t whinge about it being difficult, or you can’t, or believe that it’s not physically possible because some coddler says so, or try and justify not making the desicion, or blah blah blah. Grow some and choose. If you choose to go back to the addiction, fair enough, at least you had the balls to confront the choice. Next time, maybe you’ll want it more. You are still stronger than the people nicotine-patched to the eyeballs who sneak a couple in here and there each day for a year before stopping.
But wait, there’s more. You know what else? Throughout all of this, I didn’t lose my sense of humour for a minute, even in the depths. Withdrawal symptoms do not make you irritable, anxiety does not make you lose humour. Self-pity makes you humourless and irritable, and self-pity makes you justify it away as a physical symptom. What does make me lose my humour is you, the coddlers. People who don’t have the first fucking clue how the mind works, or even how it can work, who run around giving people all the permission they need to prolong their own suffering. You’re not doing it deliberately – you’re ignorant of how it all works – but you are prolonging the suffering of others to make yourselves feel better.
And here’s the kicker: I am not an exceptionally strong-willed person. I’m an average willed person who accepts resposibility for my own will. You could be too. You could snap out of the habit of trampling others to build yourself up, you just have to be brave enough to accept it instead of carrying on with your usual. Does this sound like your thought process in response to this? “Heh, what does he know? Those poor sufferers, they need my sympathy not some shouty know-it-all person telling them to just get over it. They can’t get over it, it’s not that simple. Poor things. I’m so sensitive sticking up for them, aren’t I nice? Aren’t I a lovely person, I like being nice.” *insert warm fuzzy glow here* Does it?
Anyhoo, as angry as that rant made me, I’m going to just move on. *snap* happy again. Simple.
Gilbert Wham says
Well, you certainly appear like someone who needs a cigarette…
joe says
wow what an asshole, the simplistic beat, driving guitar, and crazy vocals is what defines The White Stripes. if another band did the same thing they would be compared to having a white stripes sound/style. yes sure lets have the drums sound like everyone else’s drummer. i find it thrilling that a 2 person band can have each of their names recognized. whens the last time you were able to rattle off names of drummers now adays? u cant, maybe the singer and lead guitarist is about it. not to mention that they are not stupid, they know what other drummers sound like. shes been playing for a long time so i can bet shes better then she plays. if you want to make fun of retarded “simplistic beats” look at modern hip hop. boom boom, boom boom ba boom boom for 4 minutes. jerkass
and mental health is also nothing to play around with, the fact a whole tour($$$$) was canceled means they must be really fuckin worried about her state of being.
Adam Gade says
Haha. These people are nuts. Gilbert, you’re still funny.
paul says
oh god not more meg bashing. she doesnt play fills because they’d ruin the music you morons. and the beat is just fine the way it is. if you dont like their sound listen to someone else. its like complaining that mozarts stuff has no electric guitar solos – listen to something else then. jesus…
Halley says
What kind of thing is that to say? Meg is an amazing drummer, she plays what’s needed, if she played louder and dressed up her performances, Jack’s guitar wouldn’t be what it is, besides, Jack said that without Meg there’d be NO WHITE STRIPES! So think before you speak, r-tard
fuck u gilbert says
you are an insensitive asshole. go to hell.