Musicians, huh? Who do they think they are?
If we’re not kitted out in their fashion range which has ended up in Oxfams across the country, we have to listen to people like Bono harp on about how we’re all evil. Really, it’s like their ability to put out a record gives them the right to do everything.
The next best musicians do is make us watch their crazy lives. The Osbournes started the craze and Michael Jackson proved how much of a creepy man he really was when Martin Bashir followed him around. Next on the reality show gravy train is MC Hammer. Yes, we’re counting the days down, too.
So what has MC Hammer decided to name his show? Would it be something like At Home With The Hammers or You Can’t Touch MC Hammer? No, he’s simply gone for Hammertime.
Yep, that’s right. Hammertime. You know that song that’s the only thing that anyone knows him for, apart from his ropey parachute pants? Calling it The Stupid Baggy Pant-Wearing Moron MC Hammer Reality Show may not have given it a cool and sophisticated edge, but at least it would have been accurate.
Calling it Hammertime may have negative effects when people see it listed in TV guides. Like us, most folks will assume that the show is going to be nothing but half an hour of MC Hammer’s Hammertime song being constantly repeated but internal organs bleed. Or people will think that Hammertime is a new DIY show where a crazy middle-aged man from New Jersey will show you how to make everything from wooden ducks to urinals, using only a hammer, six planks of balsa wood and five rolls of sticky tape.
Will this be yet another car crash reality show like Katie Price and Peter Andre’s? Without a shadow of doubt, we believe so. The network broadcasting the Hammertime show is called A&E. Either someone is having a joke when they decided to name a network after an Accident & Emergency department at hospitals, or we’re completely wrong.
Because MC Hammer is a nineties musician who people only like ironically, we expect his house to be physically stuck in this time period. Oh how we’ll laugh as the family get frustrated with their 56k dial up internet connection and giggle at comedy mobile phones that look more like bricks than telecommunication devices. According to MC Hammer though, the show will feature exciting stuff like:
“All the things that come along with family, with the caveat that their dad is a world-renowned recording artist. The series would serve as a showcase for his family’s talents”.
So just like The Osbournes, we’ll no doubt see any family member attempting to make a career move from this TV fame. We can’t wait for MC Screwdriver, MC Power Sander and MC Electric Drill With Fifty Removable Heads to make their rapping debuts.
One thing however does make believe MC Hammer is slightly confused about his immediate surroundings. When speaking to the BBC he said:
“I’m a 2010 dad. I’m a real techy. I’m a geek on that side.”
The last time we checked, it was 2009, not 2010. Please feel free to abuse us in the comments box, but it was 2009 when we last checked our calendar. But maybe this is why we should watch the show! MC Hammer might have developed time travel using a garden space, a rusty coke can, a car battery and a bottle of chilli sauce.
Maybe he’ll use it to transport to the early nineties when he was successful, wasn’t laughed at as much and didn’t play crap gigs with Vanilla Ice in American shopping centres.
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
There is no MC Hammer song called “Hammertime.”
I think it is very good move on the MC’s side. I just heard about the whole deal on WeSeed and they are also giving their thumbs up. Check it out: http://weseed.com/landingPage.html
Matthew Laidlow??? Who are you to make jokes about someone else’s career? No one has ever heard of you. Unlike M C Hammer, who is world famous. He may have taken a break from show business, but he is still great. You need a reality check.