Like many people, Matt Damon's boyishly handsome face routinely fools us into thinking that he's not old enough to produce sperm in his testes yet.
But he is. Because Matt Damon is 37 years old, which is plenty old enough to knock his wife up a bunch of times. And just to remind of that fact, Matt Damon has got his wife Luciana pregnant again.
Matt Damon's reps haven't confirmed how far along Luciana is but that's beside the point – the point is that we're a maximum of nine months away from hearing the latest, most harrowing, legally-questionable and morally-dubious version of I'm Fucking Matt Damon the world has ever seen.
A recent survey that Matt Damon is now officially the most successful former star of a gross-out comedy movie about cojoined twins ever. It's impossible to overstate how successful Matt Damon is – he's the most bankable star in the world, the sexiest man in the world, his humorous music videos provoke oddly homophobic retorts, his movies win Oscars even though they're all so shaky that you can't tell what's going on, and – worst of all – he seems like quite a nice chap as well.
Plus his balls work too. So that's something.
It's been revealed that Matt Damon has got his wife Luciana pregnant for the second time, which is either tremendously exciting or a bit of chore to hear about, depending on your gender and fondness for those smug Ocean's films. E! Online reports:
The Bourne Ultimatum star, 37, and his wife, Luciana, 32, are expecting their second child together, his rep, Jennifer Allen, confirmed to E! News. The announcement comes after the Damons walked the red carpet together at London's Empire Film Awards Sunday, where Luciana showed off a baby bump.
It'll be the second baby for Matt Damon and Luciana following the birth of Isabella in 2006. There's also a nine-year-old on the scene from one of Luciana's previous relationships as well.
But just how is Matt Damon's million-dollar lifestyle going to stretch to feeding three children, that's what we want to know. If Matt wants to provide properly for these children, he'll have to hunker down and work harder than ever. And you know what that means? More dreary movies that vaguely allude to the war in Iraq, that's what. Perhaps we can vasectomise him soon when he's not looking or something.
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