Oh, The Grammys. If ever there was a reason for people to stop enjoying music, then The Grammys – with its half-arsed collaborations, three-year running time, bazillion categories and relentless grown-up po-faced treatment of music – would be it.
Although you're going to be spared the gory blow-by-blow account of who exactly won the Best Christian Polka Spoken Word Sleeve Notes Grammy for a while, last night saw the next best thing – the announcing of the Grammy nominations. And, depending on who you are, the Grammy nominations were either a good or a bad thing. They were a bad thing if you're a fan of fun music, as opposed to music that's treated as an inoffensive commodity to be sold to people who don't really like music, since Mary J Blige, James Blunt, Dixie Chicks and Corinne Bailey Rae all picked up multiple Grammy nominations. On the other hand, the Grammy nominations were a good thing if you're a nobsack.
The Grammy Awards are notoriously boring. Any exciting moment that takes place – like Madonna dancing round a stage with 3D holograms of Gorillaz – is countered by vast tsunamis of dullness, like listening to a man in a suit droning on about why file-sharing will mean he only gets six weeks on a private Micronesian island this year instead of seven, or watching any of the ten thousand million awards get given out to people you don't even recognise, let alone care about.
But, hey, we've got until February to worry about the actual Grammy awards, so let's instead look at the Grammy nominations, which were announced yesterday. First – before we throw you headfirst into a pit of despair – a sliver of hope; U2 aren't going to win everything like last year because they've only been nominated for two awards. And now for the bad news; recent Billboard award-scooper Mary J Blige is leading the Grammy nominations this year.
Come February, there's a chance that Mary J Blige will walk off with all kinds of Grammys, for Best Female R&B Vocal Performance, Best R&B Album, Best R&B Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals, Record Of The Year, Song Of The Year, Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals, Best Traditional R&B Performance, Best R&B Album and Best Remixed Album, Non-Classical. There may be more – we lost the will to live before we got to the end of the list. Still, you have to hand it to Mary J Blige – when it comes to making supremely deluded statements about herself, nobody can touch her. This is what Mary J Blige said upon getting the nominations:
"I turned tragedy into triumph, going from victim to victor. And my fans have always been there for me. I'm still human, and this is not making me untouchable. This is making me even more touchable because now I know they're listening to me, and now I'm going to really start talking to them."
The other surprise multiple Grammy nominees were The Dixie Chicks, the rootin'-tootin' censored by NBC George Bush haters that everyone hated until they realised that George Bush was a bit of a dinkle and now loves again, even though all they do is make rubbish fiddle-de-dee cowboy music. The Dixie Chicks received five Grammy nominations, as did mountain-owning tosswit James Blunt, Will.i.am, Prince, Rick Rubin, John Mayer and Danger Mouse.
This being the Grammy nominations, there are far too many categories to allow us to discuss each and every one, so we'll cut to the chase. Best Hawaiian Music Album. Is it going to be Grandmaster Slack Key Guitar by Ledward Ka'apana or The Wild Hawaiian by Henry Kapono? This is going to be fierce – leave your thoughts about the ultimate winner of the 2007 Grammy Best Hawaiian Music Album Award in the comment box below. But nothing else. Only the Hawaiian stuff.
Read more:
49th Annual Grammy Awards Nominee List – Grammy
Blige Leads Grammy Noms With 8, Peppers Get 6 – Hollywood Reporter
Bill Hale says
Yes! Henry Kapono has done what yours could not have done!
Rock and ROCK HARD!!!
Henry has always been a rocker and now He fused the best of both his worlds.
One being 100 percent pure Hawaiian blood and plying the music of his heart!
If you have not heard the Wild Hawaiian, please do so…
It really done rock and roll!!!
Aloha and Stay Wild!!!
Kapono’s Myspace page